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Hawk Boy
Memoirs of a Child Porn Star
by Trevor Hawk, with Hubert Z. Fletchly

My first week – Part 1

Introduction

"The audience were encouraging us, and they complimented our beauty and artistic form, whatever that meant. And there he was - Robbie! He was standing next to another boy who looked familiar, but I didn't know him. Both were dressed in their Cockerel Manor suits. Robbie gave me a smile, and I winked back, which wasn't allowed, but I was excited to see him. He took his phone out of his inside blazer pocket and took a photo of us. 'I will show you this later so you can see. It's lovely to see you again!' he said. I had forgotten to growl." Holding still for even a minute is difficult enough for kids our age. Imagine doing it for 20 minutes with your cock twitching inside a cute boy's mouth, and your first ever fluff boy smiling at you!

Hi. My name is Trevor, and I'm twelve. Most people know me as Trevor Hawk, or just Hawk, because my real last name is Hawkinson. I have used other stage names too, such as Hawk Boy, Boy Hawk, and T-Hawk. My life growing up in London was amazing and wonderful until I was six. That's when it all fell apart. Mum and Dad got divorced, Mum got freaked out and cried all the time, she started drinking every day, she started being mean to me, and then she started ignoring me, like everything was my fault. I guess it was in some ways. I mean, I'm not the perfect kid. That was my brother Ian. He was the blue-eyed blond boy she always wanted, and she adored him, even when he misbehaved. Especially when he misbehaved. I guess I was just Ian's little brother to her. But as my press agent Bill says, I rose above it all.

Like I said, I'm twelve years old, and over the last few years, I've become one of the most successful and prolific child-porn actors in the business. I don't need to ride in the back of Mum's boyfriend's dirty old Morris Robin anymore. I've got three cars and my own driver on call, standing by to take me anywhere, whether Mum likes it or not. My driver has a room in the domestic employees' house next to the garage. A woman named Svetlana also lives in that house. She comes in every day to clean my room and do my other chores. I also have a guy named Yves who brings me my new clothes every week. Once I wear an outfit, I usually donate it to poor kids. Ian hates it because he doesn't get cool new clothes, and he has to watch me walk around in the latest designs and then give them to someone else the next week. I'd give them to him but they wouldn't fit, and he's anything but sexy. He's taller and a year older than I am. I also have a tutor named Marie who gives me lessons three days each week. She also accompanies me when I travel. She says I'm doing tenth grade work now.

My solicitor arranged things so I could have our new house built on Lake Minnetonka in Minnesota when I was ten. Of course Mum had to agree to let me have the master bedroom (because it's my house, technically held in trust by the studio I'm contracted with), the whole basement, and the garage to myself. She didn't mind because now she doesn't have to pay rent or see any more of that asshole Pentecostal Christian caretaker who liked beating on 'other people's children,' as she always put it.

I needed the garage for my cars (a Benz, a Land Rover, and a mint condition 1973 Jaguar E-type convertible with that lovely V-12 engine). Mum parks the Smart Car I bought her under the carport I had installed next to the garage. It has my latest publicity photo painted on the two doors, along with logos and other graphics from the studio. That was part of the deal for me to buy the car for her. The other part of the deal was that she had to blow into a tube before the engine would start. That tested to see if she'd been drinking.

My solicitor insisted on that because she's had such a horrible drinking problem for so long now. Mum had a right fit when she found out! But she's been pretty good about her drinking for some time now. That's why I feel good about supporting her and Ian. The money is nothing to me, but I can't be around her when she's drinking. She's only my mum in name as well. My agent Randy Christianson is my legal guardian. Mum signed her parental rights away when she signed my first contract with the studio, and he continues to be my legal guardian in Minnesota. He will be until I'm an adult. Mum challenged Randy's guardianship in court, but she showed up drunk and lost all parental rights to me permanently. She even lost her beloved Ian until she demonstrated to the UK courts that she could stay sober for a year. He wanted to go back to her. I didn't.

Of the vehicles I own, my favorite is my Citation jet. I had a runway and a hangar built next to the house, and I have a few pilots who rotate being on call for me. One of them is named Marvin Jarvis, and he came to Minnesota with me from the UK. I can be anywhere I want to be in a matter of hours, but ocean crossings are difficult because we would need several refueling stops, so I use a jet service or fly first class on an airline, which is usually more fun than a private jet, if I'm going overseas. I visit California frequently. The film production company I contract with has film studios in Burbank and La Jolla. I also like to go on shopping trips to Manhattan.

We designed the basement to be an in-house sound and film production facility, and there is a private theater with a thrust stage and a twelve-foot UHD video screen on the ground floor, which Mum and Ian are not allowed to enter without permission from my agent. Now I shoot nearly all of my videos at home, and from time to time, we perform privately in the theater for big-shots in the industry or for people who can afford my fee, which right now stands at $85,000 plus additional fees for the other performers. (Mostly these are very wealthy men who would rather go somewhere a little classier than Thailand or Hungary.) I never charge to have sex with audience members, but I only do that if I feel like it and if my agent has cleared them. (They sometimes offer me money, but I'm horny, not a whore.) Sometimes I do small fashion shows there too for new designers. (Of course there are many other models too when we do those.)

It's not as if Mum and Ian are giving up anything by letting me have the basement, half of the ground floor, the largest bedroom, and the garage. Our new living room alone is larger than our whole flat was a few years ago. Mum and Ian have big bedrooms with walk-in closets, and Svetlana inspects them each week to make sure they're kept in order, according to our contract. (Ian HATES that!) I almost had to evict Mum after she let the house fall into a disastrous state while she was on a drinking binge. That's why we began these weekly inspections by Svetlana, and she is thorough.

Mum and Ian now live in a safe, lovely neighborhood with excellent security on the grounds and a decent school system for Ian. I won't pay tuition for a private school for Ian unless we can find one that has uniforms with embarrassingly short shorts, or that will allow him to wear embarrassingly short shorts, which he would be required to do until the day he graduated. He declined. I don't think he could handle the coursework to be honest. He's not very bright.

Mum and Ian do not have to do any work outside, and I will always pay to have her car serviced and repaired as needed, as long as she keeps my publicity photo and graphics on the car. I even pay for her gas as long as she hands out my publicity photos to other customers at the filling station.

Life as a wealthy and famous boy has been good, and the story of how it all happened is worth telling. At least it's worth writing down. I have a lot of fans, and maybe they'd like to know me better. Perhaps some kids reading this are considering a career in child porn, and they'd like to learn about the business. Whatever your reason for reading this, I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 1
Brad

So how did a poor boy like me rise to stardom? The same way everyone else does – hard work and a lot of good luck. (Well, I couldn't have had the good luck without first having a lot of bad luck.) But can I help it if I LOVE my work? I think everyone should pick a job they love. Then you never have to work. You go to your job every day and enjoy yourself. That's what Granddad always used to say. Maybe I shouldn't call it hard work. Really, it was a matter of having a lot of incredible sex with a lot of incredibly sexy boys and men with cameras pointed at me, and things sort of took off on their own accord. But having the opportunity to do that was really a matter of good luck. My agent says I've always been a natural. I did have a few skills you wouldn't expect in such a young boy when I began my career.

Well, here's what really happened. When I was six, and Ian was seven, we had a sitter named Brad. Mum had to work during the daytime after Dad left, so Brad stayed with us all day during summer holidays and then after school until Mum came home at eight o'clock. He was really a world-class turd, but Mum had a hard time finding good sitters. I complain a lot about her, but she really did try, bless her.

Brad was fourteen. He smoked cigarettes in our apartment. He said all of the words Mum didn't allow us say nearly the whole time she was away. One day he had two of his mates over, Chris and Jordan, and they both smoked too. So did Gran and Granddad, and so did most of the grown-ups I knew except for Mum.

What really got me excited about cigarettes was how much grown-ups liked them, and how hard they tried to keep us kids from having them. They would say how badly they needed them and how good it felt when they smoked them, but if they were so good, why couldn't us kids enjoy the odd puff as well? It was as if the grown-ups were constantly telling us that they were so much better than us kids, so much more important than us, that they wanted all the cigarettes for themselves. It wasn't fair, and I wanted to know why – what the big deal was.

So I told Brad that I wanted a cigarette. Of course, he said no, just like all the grown-ups. I thought of him as a grown-up too, even though Mum called him a boy. (That didn't make sense to me. Boys were little, and Brad was as tall as Mum.) Teenagers were big and strong, and they could beat me up easily, so they were grown-ups.

But I pestered Brad. After a while, Ian joined in. Then Brad said, "You can have a cigarette if you suck Jordan's willy." Awesome! I was finally going to get a whole cigarette! I was so happy!

I went over to Jordan and grabbed his zip. He seemed to freak out, and I could imagine why. It's so embarrassing to have other people looking at your willy. A few seconds passed. Then Jordan said we should go into the bathroom where we would be alone, and no one would see us. That made sense to me because we weren't supposed to be naked at home unless we were in the bathroom or in our bedroom, and that way it would just be me looking at his willy. This is how little kids think. Well, it was how I thought.

So we went into the bathroom, closed the door, and Jordan leaned back against the sink. This time he let me undo his zip, unbutton his jeans, and pull his underpants down. I couldn't believe it! This was what everyone in the whole world was spending their lives trying to do – getting naked with someone else and playing with the parts that the swimsuit covers. I was only six, and I felt proud! I had done what grown-ups everywhere were trying to do. I could play with someone else's willy, and he was much older than I was. That made it even better!

I had never seen one so huge! And it had dark hair growing out of the skin just above it. His willy was all floppy when I started, but it got thicker and less floppy right away. I realize now that it was a small boy penis like most other boys just getting into puberty (just like Chris and Brad), but to me it was a monster!

I sucked it quite hard and deep, and after half a minute or so Jordan peed in my mouth. (That's what I thought it was when I was six.) Not a whole lot, but enough to tell me I had done my job well and that I had earned my cigarette. I just swallowed it without thinking. It was only a small bit of pee, and I didn't want to think about it or I might have become a little grossed out. Why worry about that? My body made all kinds of pee every day, so this little bit wouldn't hurt me. I was actually a little excited when that happened. I'll never forget the taste. There's nothing in the world that tastes like cum, which today I realize was what Jordan and I both thought was pee on that day. Jordan told me I should stop. I became a bit upset because I had finally got to play with someone else's willy, and now he was taking that away from me. I pouted out of the bathroom with Jordan following me. He told everyone I'd sucked the pee right out of him, and they all seemed impressed. That made me feel proud.

When we got to the living room, Ian was sucking on Chris, and right away Chris told him he should stop too. But then, right there in the living room, Brad un-snapped and unbuttoned his jeans and told me that, if I really wanted to, I could suck his willy.

I went at it right away, but only a few seconds later Brad also told me to stop. He hadn't peed in my mouth. I'd only got to do it for a few seconds. Why would he want to stop so soon? I thought it was because once I started sucking, he knew I was doing it wrong. They could all tell that I didn't know what I was doing because I was just a stupid little kid. Today I think they were all just fucking with me, and maybe Brad wasn't sure if he wanted to go through with it yet, but then I felt hurt. I thought I could give the teenagers something they really wanted, and that would make them my friends.

Brad said that instead of sucking his willy I should kiss Ian. What? Yeah, I didn't understand either, but I wanted to make sure I got my cigarette, so I kissed Ian's cheek. "On the lips," said Brad.

"Ok," I said. This wasn't a problem for a boy like me. I kissed Gran and Granddad Jones on the lips every time we visited them. So I kissed Ian.

But Brad said, "That's not how you kiss! You need to lick each other's tongues!" That was a little gross, but we did it for maybe half a minute or so. We wanted our cigarettes.

Then Brad surprised me. He said that both Ian and I could have TWO cigarettes each if we ass-fucked. I didn't know what that meant, but Brad explained that it meant sticking your willy into someone else's bottom.

Well, this was something different. I had no idea why someone would want to see two kids doing that, or anyone else for that matter. We had to show all of them our own willies and asses naked. And that wasn't all. Brad said we had to take off all our clothes in front of them and be completely naked. Ian and I looked at each other. I could tell he was as nervous as I was about being naked in front of all of them, but we wanted our cigarettes. We pulled our shirts off, and then our shorts and socks. It was ok to be seen wearing only our undies, so I wasn't scared yet.

But when it came time to drop our undies, Brad pointed his camera and started taking photos of us. I stopped and looked at him. "Go on. Don't be frightened," he said. "You are two very handsome boys, and these pictures will look lovely."

I wasn't frightened. I was nervous. I was going to be naked in front of Brad and his friends, and that made me nervous. Would they laugh? But I loved having my picture taken, and Brad thought I was handsome. I giggled nervously as I slid my undies down and let them drop to the floor. I threw my hands up and said, "Ta-da!" Something good became mixed in with the nervousness, and it turned into a thrill. I have been chasing that thrill ever since. Brad and his friends clapped for us as we put our clothes aside, and then we got to business. First, I ass-fucked Ian on the couch. Then Ian ass-fucked me. (Brad took a few pictures of us ass-fucking, and if you search carefully you can still find them online.) I really liked it when Ian ass-fucked me. I don't know what it was, but it really felt nice to have something poking inside of me. It took a long time for him to get his willy all the way in (I know, lube? What's that then?), but once it was in it felt like Ian was scratching an itch that I didn't know I had. Something like that. I guess I had an itchy bottom.

Then Chris pulled me from the couch and said he was going to ass-fuck me. Ian's willy felt nice, but he was a seven year-old boy, and his willy was rather little. But that big thing Chris came at me with felt like a cricket bat! It really hurt going in (again, no lube), but then it felt a little nicer because it was bigger. It did a better job of scratching that itch, but it still mostly hurt. We were right in front of Brad, and as Chris ass-fucked me I tried again to un-zip Brad's pants, and again Brad said no, but only after I'd gotten him un-zipped again with his big willy in my mouth. He took a few more pictures. I've always liked having my picture taken!

Chris came in my ass, but he pulled out right away. I could feel the cum dripping from my bottom, which I still thought was pee. I remembered what Jordan's had tasted like. Without thinking, I reached around, wiped some of it up onto my fingers, and put them in my mouth. It tasted sweet and salty. I wanted to taste every bit of it because I wanted to remember what it was like. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to taste it again.

Chris has started toward the kitchen to wash up, but Brad told him to come back and have me clean him. (He'd seen me tasting the cum that was now dripping down my thighs.) I looked up and saw how messy his cock was with cum. But I didn't know what it was. It should have been pee, but it looked more like dish soap. Chris and Brad explained to me that men squirt something different from their cocks when they fuck. This confused me, but it explained why Jordan's 'pee' had tasted so good, and why Chris' was even better. I said, "Oh yes please! I'll clean you up!" He'd made much more cum than Jordan had, and it had run down his cock onto his balls when he pulled out, and now the precious and tasty drops were falling to the floor.

I hurried over to him, stuck it in my mouth, and started to suck it clean when he gave a yelp and jumped back. "Gentle boy, gentle!" he said. So I tried again. Since he was soft and floppy, I could get most of his cock into my mouth. I sucked it until it was perfectly clean. While I was doing that, I had wiped some more dripping cum from my thighs. When I'd finished with his cock, I licked my fingers again. Then I began licking his balls clean. I felt around my bum for more cum, but there wasn't much. I wanted it all though. So I stuck two of my fingers up inside to see if I could find more.

When I'd finished cleaning his balls, I took my fingers out and stuck them in my mouth to suck off the last of the cum I could get that way. Just then, for some reason, Chris began to get hard again. "Bloody hell Brad, did you see what he just did?" he asked. So I sucked his cock for a few more minutes and asked him if he wanted to ass-fuck me some more. I turned around on all fours. He stuck it back into my bottom, and not slowly or carefully. This time it slid right in because it was still wet in there.

He went in and out, faster and faster, and I felt something strange happening in my ass. He kept going for ten minutes, harder and faster, sometimes turning me over on my back, sometimes putting me down on my hands and knees, and my penis and my ass started to feel like they were connected to each other. The longer he went, the deeper he went, and the faster he went, the stronger that feeling grew inside of me.

Even as a professional porn actor, I still can't describe that feeling. I've bottomed many, many times and had many ass-orgasms since then, but I was older, and it never felt quite the same. As a young boy, things just felt much stronger and harsher.

Brad switched his camera to video mode and started filming us, but at some point it seemed as if he, Ian, and Jordan had disappeared. Our flat had disappeared. The growing feeling was blocking my senses. It grew and grew until I didn't think I could stand it anymore. I was shaking violently, and I could hear myself shrieking and howling. Then it suddenly felt like my body split into several pieces. My arms gave out entirely, my legs shot into the air, my face hit the floor, I screamed with all my power (not an unusual sound coming from our building in those days), and my ass tried to get away and make this torture end – at least that's what Brad's video shows. (Sorry folks, that one's never been released.) I don't remember any of that. I just remember how it felt, and it was anything but torture.

But Chris wouldn't let go. He just held on tighter and fucked harder. He pinned me to the floor as my body flailed around. My fists and my knees pounded the floor, and I screamed like an eagle without stopping. He had one arm around my waist and the other around my chest. I couldn't breathe, which only made the feeling stronger. At last, Chris finally came. He stopped his thrusting, but that feeling didn't go away. If he moved at all, it would make my body flip and jerk again. So we stayed right there on the floor with his cock inside of me for a few minutes while he caught his breath and I got settled. Then he slid his cock out of my ass very slowly, which still felt quite intense. A howl of pleasure came from me as he did that. This time when he went to the kitchen, I didn't protest. I couldn't. I couldn't move. What had happened just then? It was like this bright light connecting my ass and my cock had grown to fill the whole area between my hips. Soon it had flooded my whole body, and there was this tremendous thunder. Then everything just went weird. I had had my first orgasm ever, and it was an ass-orgasm.

I stayed there on my stomach for a long time, feeling every bit of those feelings that I could. This had to be the purpose for living. Nothing else was important then. Eventually Brad asked if I was ok. I said I think so. He poked around my bum to see if there was any blood. There wasn't, so he said he thought I was fine.

Brad gave us our two cigarettes each, and I was happy! Then he told us to put our clothes back on. I couldn't believe it! If playing naked was so much fun, then why should we put our clothes on? I wanted to stay naked until just before Mum got home, but Brad made me put my shirt, underpants, socks, and shorts back on. (I liked my cigarettes, but Ian threw up.)

***

That was my introduction to sex, and of course, I wanted more. I began playing with my penis at night and found out it was really ticklish. I tickled it quite a lot actually. And then I found out that if kept tickling it for a few minutes, it would suddenly become much more ticklish, and I had to stop. After a few weeks of doing this, I decided to keep going, no matter what, even though I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to do this when Ian wasn't in the room because I knew I'd be making a lot of noise. (I didn't want him to know my secret.) So one day I did it, and I did scream (well, I tried to, but I had my face in my pillow and just grunted loudly), and my body did move about – kinda. It felt as if I kept going I would die, but in a strange way that made me want to keep going even more. It was as if I was torturing myself, yet it somehow felt good. I can't explain it any better than that. It wasn't nearly as powerful a feeling as my ass-orgasm with Chris, and remembering that experience gave me courage to carry on. It sounds daft, but that's how I thought about things then.

I masturbated like that quite frequently, first starting about once each week, then increasing to nearly every day, and finally as many as six times a day. (When I did it that often I sometimes rubbed my cock raw and it really hurt, but then it turned me on to keep doing it anyway.) It was almost three years before I could share such pleasures again with another person. I had fantasies about some crazy things though, like hanging Ian naked off the balcony, being crucified, the circus lady who swings around on a rope having to do her act naked, and me being put in a cage naked above a crowd of onlookers. Not exactly sex fantasies, but I was six. It got me off. For me, sex was mostly about being naked and being seen naked. There was always a bit of torture and humiliation. Tickling myself felt like something separate, but I couldn't seem to do one without also doing the other, and I didn't know why. Looking back on it, the tickling was, as I've said, quite like torture, and before that day with Brad and his mates, being seen naked was a humiliating experience, so I guess in a way it makes sense. Humiliation and torture were what my fantasies were about – what I would call BDSM today. I didn't know there was such a thing as proper sex. I thought we'd just played that day, and some strange experience had happened to me, almost a religious awakening. I did not know other people did such things too.

Chapter 2
Randy

4:00 PM, Sunday, July 15

I think a lot of people who write stories about boys like me never masturbated before puberty. I've read some weird stories about what happens when young boys cum. They moan in pleasure and cry out, "Don't stop!" Believe me, boys want to stop as soon as it hits. They HAVE to stop, even if they secretly want to keep going. For me, it was always an intense rush, one that I was never sure I could handle. I sometimes prayed to God to make me strong enough to continue wanking through my orgasm – not just until the orgasm, but all the way through it. It was so much more intense back then, and not entirely pleasant. It was more of a powerful jolt. Nowadays it's much smoother, mellower, and VERY pleasing to cum. I only ejaculated that clear liquid for a few weeks last year, and at first I thought I was leaking pee. I'd forgotten what I'd learned about cum from Brad and Chris, and everyone at the studio seemed to think it was cute that I didn't realize it was cum. (They throw a big party for a boy's first on-camera cum shot with gifts and everything. The studio traditionally gives double pay for that scene too, which is a lot of money.) My cum got thicker and a sort of gray, milky color after some time, and then it was slippery enough to lube the next lad into the same hole.

***

I thought a lot about being naked and playing naked like we did with Brad and his friends. It was the only thing I thought about when I was alone. I started climbing trees in the park and jacking off in one tree after leaving my clothes in another. It was a thrill to try to get from one tree to the other without anyone seeing me naked. The risk of being exposed is what got me off. That was what led to my career in child pornography.

I got busted one summer day, or so I thought. My briefs (called Y-fronts in Britain) blew down from the other tree one windy July day and landed right on a man's head. It really happened that way. He looked up and down the tree where my shorts and shirt were hanging, and I think he spotted them. Then his eyes wandered over to the tree where I'd been wanking. I didn't think he'd seen me, but he put my underpants in his pocket and wandered slowly toward my tree. After leaning against the trunk for a few minutes, to my horror, he suddenly started to climb!

I was terrified of being caught naked with no clothes anywhere near me, but being caught was also part of my fantasy. That's why I'd leave my clothes in the other tree, so I couldn't get to them. It made the feelings even stronger to know how wrong it was, and how easily I could have been caught. That was the thrill of it all. But that thrill was gone when it became real. My feelings when it really happened weren't sexually thrilling at all. I was frightened!

The man climbed the tree, never looking up at me. I thought a few times that he really hadn't seen me – he just liked climbing trees. But when he got to a point about four feet below me he looked up, smiled kindly, and said, "Hi, I'm Randy!"

I just stared at him in terror and shame as he finished his climb to my level. He said, "I see you like playing naked." I didn't say anything. I just stared at him, trying to keep bent forward so he couldn't see my cock, which was all floppy again.

He asked me how old I was. "Eight," I told him, "almost nine." He asked me how long I'd been playing naked in the trees. "All year, since last term started," I said, "even in the winter." Then he asked me if I'd ever played naked with anyone else. I told him about Brad and his friends, which made him smile. It made me just a little excited to remember that day and to talk about it while I was naked in front of a stranger. I'd never actually told a single person about that day. I began to feel a little less frightened. Randy seemed to be a kind man.

"They seriously needed lube," Randy said. "Those guys really didn't know what they were doing, and they could have hurt you." Oh yeah, it hurt all right when Chris fucked me, but there were all those nice feelings too. "Did the older boys suck you off as well?" he asked.

"No," I said to Randy. He seemed angry when I told him that. He said it was just wrong to have another boy suck your penis without sucking his in return. He said that made Jordan a real prick. I thought about it. It was so much fun sucking Jordan's big cock, and Brad's too. I wondered why they weren't interested when I'd offered them mine.

Then he said, "Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give you what Jordan should have given you. I'll suck your cock like he should have done." And without waiting for a reply from me (I didn't have one to give him – I really didn't know what to say, but my whole body was tingling just thinking about it, and of course my little boner provided the only answer Randy needed), he stepped down to a lower branch and put his hand on my thigh. Then he pushed my shoulder back gently with his other hand, and quite suddenly started sucking my whole cock, while I leaned back on the branch where I was sitting. He rubbed the skin on my thigh gently, moving slowly around and up to my bum cheek. He let go of my shoulder and held my hand. He didn't move his head up and down like I had to with Jordan, but he sucked with his tongue, moving it in and out, sort of like a baby does with a milk bottle.

I was exploding with all the intense feelings this caused in my head (and in my cock as well). I wanted everyone to be watching us, but I was really scared of being caught! But I already had been caught by Randy, and that was wonderful! I wanted to suck his cock! I wanted to scream! I wanted him to tie me up and gag me so I couldn't scream! I wanted him to hurt me! I wanted to blow apart like a volcano, and quickly it felt like I did! I heard this screaming sound coming from everywhere, and soon I realized it was coming from me! For the second time in my life, I wanted to be right there where I was, for the rest of my life, this time in a tree with Randy.

He slowed down and looked me in the eyes, with my cock still in his mouth. Any little movement and my legs would shoot up in the air and I'd want to scream again.

It was a windy day, and the leaves in the tree were roaring, but I'd just screamed at the top of my lungs, and a few people heard me and started walking toward our tree. I could see a woman holding a baby, another woman, and a little girl. I told Randy they were coming. He looked around and saw them too. He grinned, handed me my underpants from his pocket, and said "don't worry; I'll take care of them. I'll get your clothes back too. Just stay here." I didn't want to be anywhere else.

"Trevor," I said to him. "My name's Trevor." I set my underpants down on my stomach and didn't move. I grabbed my cock and just held it. It felt too good to be true. I wasn't sure whether I was alive, or maybe I had fallen from the tree and wound up in heaven. Whatever it was, I wanted to stay there forever.

I could hear one woman calling to Randy, asking if everything was ok. "Yes, that's just my boy up in the tree. He had a hard time with his mum, bad things at home. He's real upset. He's ok, but I think I need to leave him alone for a while. He's really good at climbing trees – he'll be fine." I smiled when I heard all that. I felt so good, Randy was so clever, and something felt nice about hearing him say 'my boy.' I squeezed my cock and thought to myself that I might never leave that tree again.

About ten minutes later, or maybe a hundred years, I could feel the tree wobbling. I looked down for the first time since Randy left, and I could see him climbing back up with my red shorts and my Arsenal jersey. He handed me my clothes and held me by the legs so I wouldn't fall while I put my shirt on. I had my shoes and socks on already. (I don't know why, but it makes me feel more naked when I have no clothes on but I'm wearing shoes, and that makes naked tree climbing more exciting and less hard on the feet as well.) I held onto a branch while Randy put my underpants over my shoes and slid them up my legs. He did the same with my shorts. Then I stood up and sort of hugged the tree trunk while he pulled them the rest of the way up, after rubbing my bare bottom with his hand and telling me how beautiful it looked. I sat back down on my branch, and he said, "We need to talk." So we climbed down the tree and started walking.

***

I want to explain something about the words I'm using. In my business, a cock is always called a cock, a pussy is a pussy, an ass is an ass (except in Britain, where it's spelled arse, but usually pronounced the same), and tits are tits. For some reason shit is called 'brown' when it's now wanted, and 'scat' when it is wanted. (No, I do not do scat films.) When I'm doing a scene or talking with people in the business, I use the standard jargon. But when I'm writing about things that happened when I was young, I sometimes use the words that I used back then, like willy, penis, bottom, and bum (and sometimes cock and ass). I also use the American spelling for everything now because I'm in American schools, and I need to work on developing the habit. I didn't know what a pussy was called until I was eight. I learned several words for pussy once I was in the business. (There was no sex education in biology class for kids my age at the time.) I asked Mum once, and she said it's called a girl's bum. I said, "No Mum, I mean in the front." She said it was her bum in the front. I didn't believe her. Mum always got super-embarrassed when I asked about sex and anatomy, so I rarely asked, and her answers were rarely helpful.

I also want to talk about how I write. Mum taught me to read when I was three, and I've always been good at using the correct punctuation. Well, better than most kids my age at least. (Commas and periods in quotes still confuse me.) Really, I wonder why people have such a hard time understanding that stuff. I'm twelve, and I write well for a boy my age. I also write using a word processor on my laptop, and I leave the spelling and grammar checking on all the time. After I'm done writing, this is all going to go through my literary agent and an editor. I told them that I didn't want any stupid things changed, like my commas, only the really embarrassing mistakes. I want people to know I really wrote this, and I'm not perfect.

I don't use a ghostwriter. I did that with my first book, and it was ghastly. (Hubert Fletchly, my co-author, set things in order historically, mostly using records from the film studio and other sources, and he was able to write some chapters from the messy notes I left him while I was traveling. That's not a ghostwriter.) I'm very proud of how well I write (at least for a twelve year-old who is learning American spelling and grammar), and I'm not going to write like I'm some dumb kid, even though my publisher wants me to. ("Pweathe, may I thuck your wiwwy?") I also made sure my lawyer would only accept a publishing deal where I had artistic control. That means my editor can add all those stupid phrases like "I shot my hot load from my goo factory into his hungry ass," but it won't go to print unless it's exactly how I want it, and that means no stupid porn clichés. (That's what happened with my first book and the ghostwriter. I thought it was funny at first, but it's not how I want to present myself.) I'm smart, which has always been hard to say because it sounds like bragging, but it's true. I'm smart, and I'm not going to let some editor make me sound like an ignorant moron who can only write like a two-year-old porn cliché factory. I've always had top marks in every grammar and writing course I've had, thanks to my tutor Marie. I have loads of fans (I get at least two hundred letters every day from around the world), and I want them to know I'm not stupid, even if I get the odd comma mixed up.

***

Randy and I walked over to an area in the park that had picnic tables. I sat on a table with my feet on the bench, and Randy sat next to me on the bench. He put his hand on my thigh again (I learned later he loves boy legs) and said, "We really do have a lot to talk about." I looked at him and smiled. I put one of my feet on his other side so I was straddling him. Just then, a cop came up to us. Neither of us had seen him, and we were both startled. Randy quickly put his arms around me in a hug and said, "It's ok, son. Mum loves you too." Randy really was a quick thinker.

The cop gave him a confused look and said, "Sir, may I see some form of identification?" Randy let go of me, dug his wallet out from his pocket, and handed his driving license to the cop, wiping a real tear from his eye. "The reason I wanted to talk to you today, Mr. Christianson, is that we had a report that you were climbing trees with your boy here. That's not allowed in city parks."

"I'm sorry officer," said Randy. "Are we in trouble? It's been a difficult day for Trevor, and he ran from the flat terribly upset earlier. I found him up in the tree crying. We had a lot of things we needed to talk through, and the tree seemed like as good a place as any, as he had already climbed it, and as it was so private. I'm really sorry for the offense, but I'm trying my best to help him get through this. Tell the officer you're sorry Trevor."

"I'm sorry officer," I said quietly, keeping my head down. I wished the cop would turn down his damn radio. How did we not hear him coming?

"It's ok," said the cop. "I don't need you to apologize Trevor, but I want you to understand that climbing trees can be very dangerous, especially when you're alone. The woman who called us said she thought you were at least fifteen meters [50 ft.] up. You probably would have died if you'd fallen from that height, do you understand that?"

"Yes sir, I do. I won't do it again."

"That's good to hear Trevor. A boy like you shouldn't be risking his neck just because he's upset, even if you're so upset you need a place to scream. You children don't realize just how precious you are to your mums and dads, and your father here would be very sad if anything were to happen to you." He turned to Randy. "Mr. Christianson, it sounds like your son is going through something difficult. They said he was positively howling up there. Are there any problems at home?"

"No, nothing like that, Sir. He had a row with his mother earlier about the boys he's been spending time with. They're the sort you probably wouldn't want your own son spending time with, maybe the kind of boys you're likely to meet on duty every day. Our Trevor here needs to be angry with his mum for a while, but he's also going to remember how much she loves him, aren't you son, and that even if she makes mistakes, it's because she loves him too much to let him do things that might be a bit risky. To be honest sir, I think that's partly why he climbed so far up that tree. He wanted to do something risky to spite her. We'll sort it out, but Trevor's just going to have to hurt for a while, aren't you son."

"Well, just the same I'd like to give you this card. It's for the Children and Family Services Branch. It's a much safer branch than those up there." Randy gave a polite chuckle. He was really good at this! "You call that number if things look like they might get out of hand at home, all right? I'm not going to write any citations for this. I think a verbal caution will suffice, but I'm going to have to ask you to keep the boy out of trees in the park. Risk-taking behavior in such a young boy is a bit worrying."

"Absolutely officer, I'll do my utmost," said Randy.

"Right then," he said. The cop handed me a card and said, "Next time you feel like taking a risk, take a real risk and call this number instead." Randy looked at him, and the cop said, "It's a youth counseling service. They understand kids better than we do sometimes, and they can be very helpful." He turned back to me and said, "You stay safe now son, do you hear me? No more climbing trees in the parks. And remember son, your mum loves you, even when you're angry with her, all right?"

"Yes sir," I replied.

***

"We sure got away with that," said Randy as the cop walked away.

"Blimey, you were brilliant!" I said to him, smiling so big it hurt. Then I slipped off the table onto his lap and gave him a great big hug. I squeezed him with my arms, my legs, and my whole body. What a cool man, and he was so nice to me!

He kissed me once in the cheek and once on the lips and said, "Well, I do know a lot about boys and the problems they can have. It's pretty easy to improvise when you know your material well."

"Huh?" I asked him.

"Well you see Trevor, that's what I wanted to talk to you about really," he said. "Seeing you all alone in that tree, so desperate to be touched and cared for, and so very excited by sexual fun (that means playing naked in certain ways, like what we just did, and like what you did with Brad), I felt sad at first because you looked so lonely. But then I also saw how your loneliness so easily turned into happiness and joy. You have your own special cure for sadness and loneliness and anger; you just don't realize it yet."

"How do you know so much about me?" I asked "Like I said, I know a lot about boys."

"I'm still not sure I understand what you're saying, Randy," I said.

"When we were up in the tree playing around, how did you feel?" he asked. "Really good!" I told him. "And how did you feel afterward?" he asked.

"So happy I wanted to stay there forever," I said. "And I still feel happy! Do you want to go back up there again? The copper's gone."

"No Trevor," he said. "I've got a better Idea that's also much safer. Do you have to be anywhere soon?"

"No," I replied. "I told Mum I was having tea at my friend's house, so I don't have to be home until suppertime."

"Wonderful! Then you can have tea with me. There are two boys I'd like you to meet, named Boris and Sebastian. They're from Russia, and they're staying with me for a few months. They're a lot like you in many ways."

"Do you mean they like to play naked with each other's willies?" I asked.

"Well yes, that's one thing you have in common. You all have this ability to make any situation exciting and happy, no matter how dismal things seem. And none of you understood that you had that ability or how to use it. One more thing you three have in common is the ability to create that same joy in other people, even those who are not touching you. Boris and Sebastian were unhappy once too, but with a little coaching and a lot of fun they're each living very happy lives."

"You make it sound as if I can be happy all the time if I play naked with other people," I said. That didn't sound right, but my cock was hard again, and a part of me wondered what it would be like if that was what he had in mind. I took Randy's hand and put it there so he could feel it.

"Oh, very nice," he smiled, "but not here please. Trust me; there will be plenty of time for that soon enough. What you just said… it's a bit more complicated than that, but that's certainly a good enough place to start. You don't believe me, do you? Would you like to meet the boys from Russia? I'm sure they'd be glad to help you with the situation that's once again arisen in your trousers. And if it's not too presumptuous of me, perhaps I can join the three of you for the fun? You see, I'm having the same situation in my trousers." He looked around, and then he placed my hand on his crotch for a few seconds. I could feel it was huge! I kissed him once more, and we fell into another full body hug.

Chapter 3
Boris and Sebastian

5:00 PM, Sunday, July 15

Randy and I walked a short distance to his large, detached house, which was actually very near my flat. There were two boys in the kitchen. The boy with long blond hair was completely naked, except for a thin gold chain hanging loosely around his waist, another around his forehead, one more around his neck, one around his left thigh, and an ankle bracelet over his right foot. The other boy, who looked older, had long, dark brown hair, was fully dressed in black jeans, a black t-shirt, black sneakers, and even black socks. It was a strange sight. "Boys," said Randy, "I'd like you to meet my new friend Trevor. Trevor, this is Boris" (he pointed to the boy in black) "and Sebastian," indicating the naked boy. "Trevor's been a bit lonely lately, and I thought perhaps we could cheer him up, and then maybe talk a little about our work."

"Hello Trevor!" they said. They were smiling, which seemed strange. When I met new boys at school, they always had this look in their eyes, as if they were checking me out or something, trying to figure out how they could be mean to me.

I said hello back to them, a bit unsure of what was happening, and I think they could tell how nervous I was. "Oh look Boris, he shy," said Sebastian in a thick accent. "Trevor Boy, not need be scared for us. Here have only we friends, no enemy. Are all good boys here. Is not like for school." He walked briskly around the kitchen table and, naked as could be, he embraced me and kissed my cheek, then my lips. "Trevor Boy believe for Sebastian?" he asked. "Sure," I told him, not sure what to believe.

"Now Trevor, I'll bet you're feeling a bit nervous now. Am I right?" Randy asked. I looked at him, motionless and expressionless, feeling a bit frozen. "In fact, I'll bet part of you is thinking of running right out that door, as fast as you can, just to go back home, back to that life that made you so miserable. And if you want to leave, that's ok. You can leave anytime you like, but you are also welcome to come back anytime. We only want you to be here if you want to be here too. But can you remember what I told you in the park about your gift, the gift these two boys also share? The gift to make not only themselves happy but others as well? I think it's time you relaxed and felt happy for a while; don't you agree boys?" he said to the others.

Boris smiled and began to walk toward me. Sebastian's face slid across my own so I could see nothing else but his huge green eyes, accented by the gold chain hanging across his brow. He was smiling as if he were on a roller coaster. He opened his mouth wide and moved in to kiss me again, this time giving me his tongue and all the smiling power he had to offer. I was beginning to think perhaps Randy was right. This was very nice indeed. Kissing Sebastian like this wasn't at all like kissing Ian in front of Brad and his friends. This was sweet and lovely. This was a boy who was kissing me to share his happiness with me, not to earn a cigarette.

I felt a rush of bravado, and I reached a hand down to feel his ass. I drew him nearer. Just then, I could feel something pushing at my hip. "Hello! We are three here!" It was Boris. I tried to look down, but Sebastian kept me in a lip lock that prevented me from seeing what was going on. I relaxed and let things happen. I could feel a hand pulling on the front of my shorts' waistband. My cock was already hard. Sebastian let out a moan, put his hands to the sides of my head and squeezed. His body was moving around in a curious dance, but his head was locked onto mine in our kiss. Then there were two hands in my shorts, pulling them down, over my knees, down to my ankles. Then a hand slid up inside the right leg opening of my underpants, then another hand followed on the left, and a third hand left my head, slid down over my shoulder, chest, and abdomen and grabbed my cock through my underwear.

Boris caressed my ass with his hands while the third hand squeezed my cock in a hand-hug. Then Boris pulled my underpants out of Sebastian's hand, down to my ankles. At about the same time, Sebastian released our unending kiss just long enough to liberate me from my shirt. As he came back to resume our kiss, I gasped deeply as I felt my cock enter Boris' warm mouth.

As I gasped, I inhaled air straight out of Sebastian's lungs. Sebastian pulled his head back just enough to have a good giggle, and we resumed. Boris worked on Sebastian's cock for a little while before returning to mine. With my shirt off, I could actually feel Sebastian's skin against mine, and it was soft and comfortable.

"Do you like having your picture taken, Trevor?" asked Randy. I tried to reply, which was difficult with Sebastian's mouth sealed over mine. "Sebastian, will you let him talk please?"

"I'd much rather keep doing this, thank you very much," I said, and I went back to the kiss with Sebastian. "Well then that works just fine," said Randy. "I'd like to take a few pictures of you doing just what you're doing right now, and whatever else strikes your fancy as we go along. Boris, would you mind removing your shirt please?"

Boris took off his shirt, and I could feel his soft skin against my legs as he continued sucking me. Randy's camera started flashing, and with each flash I could feel a pulse of energy surge through my cock to remind me how naked I was, yet how much pleasure it brought me. Boris noticed my cock pulsing and said, "Relax, is but pictures. Have much if you want. Show for Mamochka."

I slid my hand down over Sebastian's gold waist chain, down to his cock. I squeezed it gently and stroked it up and down, and each time I did, I could feel something different, something exciting, in our kiss. "You boys look absolutely lovely together, just lovely," said Randy as he came in tight for the shot of my hand on Sebastian's cock, "you really do, the three of you."

My knees were starting to weaken, and my body trembled. I felt I was about to topple when Boris asked, "Would lie for back?"

I must have looked puzzled because Sebastian clarified, "he mean would lie down for back."

"You mean so you can keep doing that?" I asked Boris. I was trembling so much I didn't think standing like that was a good idea anymore. I thought at least lying down would be safer.

"No, is time for Sebastian giving head for Trevor Boy," he answered. "Have need for Sebastian ass. He bottom for here."

"He bottom?" I asked. "What does that mean?"

He said, "Come, you see." He and Sebastian each took one of my hands and led me into the sitting room, with Randy trying his best to walk backward in front of us so he could continue taking pictures.

Boris placed a large velvety poof in front of the settee, and as if by command, Sebastian knelt before it and then bent over the poof, facing the settee. "Here, Trevor Boy, sit. This for special place," said Sebastian, patting on the portion of the settee in front of his nose. I knew what he meant. Their accents were so cute! I took my place, and Sebastian began sucking on my cock rather aggressively. For the next half hour, I don't think I exhaled a single breath in silence. I also came three more times, the first of which happened almost immediately. Before that day, I never thought boys actually did such things with each other.

Sebastian seemed quite talented at sucking cock. He and I were alone for a minute or so (except for Randy and his camera), and he made me cum right away. "Hey bitch boy, what hell do you there without me?" It was Boris calling from another room after hearing me yelping through my second orgasm of the day. He hadn't really missed much. Sebastian continued with his work, carefully coordinating his action with my body's heaving and twitching responses. My cock stayed hard the whole time.

Boris reappeared with a few towels, a bottle of lube, and a broad smile. He said, "Now begin real pleasure party!" He slapped Sebastian's ass and said, "Must punish Sebastian now, no?" Randy's camera continued its cadence of clicking and flashing. I gasped and tried to breathe normally, which is rather difficult when an experienced boy is sucking your cock. At times, it became difficult to remain seated.

I could see Boris through the slits between my straining eyelids, squirting lube into his hand, and rubbing it into Sebastian's ass. He rubbed some onto his cock, which was quite a bit larger than Sebastian's, and then wiped his hands with a towel. Sebastian let out a series of soft moans, though he kept perfect rhythm with my cock. I could see his back rise slightly as his eyes closed, and then he let out the softest grunt as Boris slowly penetrated him.

***

There are two things you should keep in mind about us boys. Before puberty, we can orgasm many, many times in a day, but the feeling is very different. It's harsh. It's like a combination of being horribly tickled and shocked with electricity. But that harshness happens only suddenly, and then all that's left is a smile – not even a mess to wipe up. And then we can do it again and again and again. Somehow, that harshness happens when the boy's cock is still being stimulated after the orgasm. The feeling leading up to the orgasm is incredible, as with everybody else. The feeling after the orgasm is also incredible, though in a different way. When I tried to force myself through my orgasms, it was that feeling I was trying to make even better.

The second thing you need to keep in mind is that boys obviously have smaller cocks than men do, so when we do anal with each other, it can be difficult to reach the other boy's hole, and you both need to line up perfectly. That was a problem when Ian and I were ass-fucking for Brad and his mates. (That wasn't a bad experience at the time, but it's disgusting when I think about it today.) Little boy cocks also mean that penetration doesn't require all that messy fingering and stretching out, unless the boy penetrating you has an unusually large cock, which my friend Boris had.

But Sebastian was used to taking Boris anally. Sebastian tightened his lips around my cock and sucked harder and faster as Boris eased his cock inside and then out, and back in. This made me cum again. "You see he good for bottom now, Trevor Boy?" said Boris. "You wait for try Sebastian in ass!" Boris had such an easy smile on his face, like this was just normal fun for him. I was panting and howling, and Sebastian had to struggle to keep me in my place with my cock in his mouth, though he did go much more slowly when I came.

"You like top or bottom, Trevor Boy?" asked Boris. His question required some explanation to me while I was shaking with every movement of Sebastian's body. "You see, I am for top. I fuck Sebastian." He gave Sebastian a powerful thrust, which made Sebastian's body, and therefore mine, heave. "Sebastian now for bottom, get fucked for ass. Some other say means more, bottom is must obey, top not suck for cock. This bullshit. Top fuck, bottom is fuck, no more."

"I've only really been fucked once, and it was a-ah-amazing!" I grunted, as Sebastian continued his work. "Nothing like cumming when someone… wow! When someone sucks me off. It was way different, and really a bit scary. I've never fucked anyone properly though."

Sebastian paused long enough to say "That challenge for Sebastian for make Trevor Boy cum hard!" He immediately turned up the heat on my cock, and I could no longer talk. Then he licked a few of his fingers, and without warning, he slid one into my ass. No, not just one, two! Then three! "Trevor Boy have natural ass. Three fingers, no hurt?"

Randy laughed out loud. "You really do know how to provoke Sebastian!"

And there it was. That feeling, that connection between my ass and my cock, that ball of lightening that filled the space between my hips and engulfed my body. I was losing my senses again. I can remember slamming my head against the back of the settee and hearing myself scream. I think I pulled Sebastian's thick blond hair really hard, but he never complained.

Then came the explosion! But it lasted a lot longer than it did with Brad's friend Chris. Sebastian was using his three fingers to massage that ball of lightening, and he was still fiercely sucking that lightening out through my cock. I thought I might throw up – I couldn't handle this!

Then all was calm. After a few seconds, I became aware that Randy had me in a hold, like a hug, but more for controlling my body than for showing love. "Sebastian has a scene tomorrow, and he needs his hair. You were really tearing at it. I had to hold your arms down."

Sebastian's head was flopped over my thigh, his eyes closed, his chains miraculously still in place, and somehow still holding my cock in his sweet lips. Boris was lying on Sebastian's back, facing me with a huge grin across his face. "Trevor Boy make for we cum all together," he said. Then he muttered something in Russian, moved in close to me, and kissed me gently, warmly, and passionately. "Thanks for you Trevor Boy, hope for seeing so much, much of you!" Getting up, he turned to Randy and said, "Randy, want Trevor for fluff boy tomorrow. Is ok?"

"We'll need to talk about that. I doubt he knows what a fluff boy is, and he certainly doesn't know yet about our work at Frenetic," said Randy. "Besides, he still hasn't performed on you or Sebastian. We don't know yet how good he'll be at it."

"Oh is good! Only need for him smile and Boris remember for today. Will be enough," said Boris.

None of this made any sense to me at the time, of course. I was wondering how people could talk calmly after what had just happened. I brushed aside Sebastian's beautiful hair and stroked his cheek. He wasn't in the mood to talk either. He just looked at me with those big eyes of his, smiled, and slurped softly on my cock. I wanted to stay that way forever. Again. Randy and Boris didn't seem to have a problem with that. They went to another room and left us alone.

"Is powerful sex," said Sebastian after a while. "When powerful sex, we rest. Is good."

"But what made it so powerful?" I asked. "That's only happened once in my life, the one time when I was fucked."

"Sometime have sex with right person, feel powerful. Sometime is what person do for your body. Sometime person different. Sex different always, but be fuck for ass sometime many more powerful than different kind sex. Some boy not like a fuck for their ass. Is ok for them. But some boy, we two, have sentiv… sensive… sentisivity for asses. Feel much better for us. Make Trevor Boy good for bottom!"

"I must tell Boris then! He asked me if I'm a top or a bottom. I guess I know now!"

"Not yet," said Sebastian. "Might also like for fuck boy in him ass. Is ok do both. Want try for my ass?" he asked. "Here, show you what fluff boy do." He started sucking my cock again. "Fluff boy suck you until you hard. Then if you get soft, he suck you more, make you hard again. Sometimes do other thing, must make hard."

"Ok," I said, still not understanding why there was a word for that.

After sucking me a little more, he slathered his own saliva around my cock with his tongue and said "There for Trevor Boy, is ready for fuck into my ass. Put in there."

His ass was already slippery with lube from Boris, and my cock slid in easily and so very comfortably, like it was home and cozy. It was like a tickling sensation, but much smoother. "Have long cock for small boy. Is nice, Trevor Boy?" asked Sebastian.

I slowly slid it all the way out, and as I did so I could feel Sebastian tightening his ass muscles, which set me off with pleasure. I had wondered if my cock was bigger or smaller than other boys who were eight, nearly nine, but I seemed to have no problem fucking Sebastian's hole. I slid my cock back in again with a moan. "Oh yes, it's very nice!" The pleasure grew with each thrust, and soon our moans of pleasure attracted Boris and Randy back into the room.

"Oh yes, is very nice," said Boris. "I like boy much for working. Must help for him start with us. Will be very much success, will sell for much money."

"I think you're absolutely right Boris," said Randy.

Still I wasn't listening. All that mattered was this beautiful boy I was fucking, just him and me.

But somehow that changed when Randy unzipped his trousers, pulled out his own cock and started stroking it. He said, "I told you that you had a gift to share. You have the power to spread happiness to other people, just by doing what makes you happy. Watching you two give pleasure to each other makes me feel good, and now I want to masturbate while watching you two. Do you mind if I do that?" Boris was fully dressed again, but I could see he was rubbing his cock through his black jeans.

"Um, sure," I said. I actually quite liked the idea of being watched while fucking Sebastian. It was like part of that fantasy of getting caught. But there was something to what Randy had said. Sebastian and I were the ones fucking (and it felt good!), but that spread the feeling to other people, just by their watching us. Sebastian looked back at me, and I could see he was giggling. I slapped his ass and gave him a good pounding after that. He stroked himself underneath, and soon we both came, but Randy hadn't. He'd been too busy taking the pictures to join in the action earlier, and it just didn't feel like we were done yet.

"Randy," I said, "Can I suck your cock?" I remembered the salty-sweet taste of cum, and I wanted that taste in my mouth again. "Trevor," he said, "the rule in this house is that if you can see it, you can touch it, suck it, or fuck it, so yes, anytime!" Randy stood up while I pulled his trousers down and began my business (quite literally, as it turned out).

His cock was nice and big. He'd shaved all of his pubic hair though. I asked him why he'd done that, and he said it was something to do with his business, which we would talk about when we were finished.

I love big men's cocks, but they can be hard to suck if they don't fit into your mouth. Randy showed me how to masturbate his cock with my hand while I was sucking on the part that I could fit into my mouth. He taught me how to go in and out with it while keeping my hand going at the same speed.

After a while Boris said "Oh look! Trevor Boy do it!" Randy began to grunt out loud. He grabbed my hair with one hand and stroked my head with the other. I could tell when he wanted me to go faster because he was using my hair like a bridle on a horse, guiding me along to provide him with the most pleasure possible. Guiding me, but not forcing me. His whole body was heaving, and I was actually beginning to get frightened.

"I'm going to cum," said Randy. "Open your mouth wide and keep working it with your hand. That way I'll cum in your mouth, and Boris and Sebastian can see it. Ready? Here… I… go!!!"

I had forgotten how warm it was when it came out, but there was that taste again, finally! I swallowed some, but while my mouth was closed, he squirted some on my nose and chin. I let that go and opened up to catch the rest. When he seemed done, I wiped the bit from my chin and swallowed it, and then sucked the last few drips from Randy's cock. Sebastian licked the last bit off my nose.

Chapter 4
Business

6:00 PM, Sunday, July 15

"Have you had a good time here today Trevor?" asked Randy, sitting down on the settee.

"Of course I have! What a silly thing to ask!"

"Good, I'm glad to hear it," he said. "I want to talk more with you about why Boris and Sebastian have come here to London. You see, they are actors, and I am their agent in the UK. They act in movies, porn movies. Do you know what those are?"

"No," I replied, a bit embarrassed, but frightfully curious.

"Porn movies are movies showing people having sex," said Randy. "If I'd recorded all of this afternoon's fun on video, we could sell it as a porn video and make money. The pictures I took are also a form of porn."

"You mean they do this all the time on video and get paid for it?" I asked.

"Exactly," said Randy. "It's a rather large industry here in Britain, and the whole world round. From the moment I met you this afternoon in the park, I must say I thought you'd do awfully well in this business."

"But we're just kids," I said. "Who would want to watch kids having sex? No one would want to see that! Maybe other kids, but I've never seen videos of anyone having sex when I visit another kid's house either."

"But Trevor my boy, you've just seen it today," said Randy. "When you were fucking Sebastian just a few moments ago, did you see my response? Have you already forgotten what I've told you about your gift, even after seeing it in action? Certainly it depends on which kids they are, just as it depends on which adults we all find attractive, but you and other kids like you, and like Boris and Sebastian, can make people feel pleasure and happiness simply by doing what feels pleasurable to you in front of them, or with them. Some adults like some children, just as some children like some adults. There are millions of porn movies that have been made featuring adults, but far fewer featuring children. This is a special market called child pornography. Believe me when I say there are millions of adults who would pay dearly to purchase porn movies featuring you."

"Is true, Trevor Boy," said Boris. "Make hundred fifty movie in UK, get paid almost one million pound, also money for website, private show, sometimes get paid have sex with rich person, much money all times. Tomorrow Sebastian and Boris make other movie. Want you come for join us. Trevor Boy make money also if my fluff boy for Boris."

"So that's what Sebastian was talking about!" I said. "You mean if you need help getting hard or staying hard, I just come in and suck your cock for a little while, right?"

"Is exactly!" said Boris.

"Yes," said Sebastian, "also hope be my fluff boy?"

"That sounds fantastic!" I said. "What a brilliant way to make money! Er," I hesitated, "how much money will I make?"

"Well," said Randy, "the studio budget allows three hundred pounds per scene for fluff services for each actor, so if Boris and Sebastian both want you, your pay will be six hundred pounds."

"Six hundred quid? For sucking their cocks? I'd do that for free!"

"You don't want anyone to hear you saying that around the studio, or you might just wind up with a severe pay cut," he chuckled. "You'll need to remain undressed in the studio throughout the whole shoot, and ready at a moment's notice. A few directors will allow you to wear a robe if you're cold, and if your actor says it's ok, but the rules say you're to be completely naked throughout. You never know when or how much assistance your actor might need, so there's always a chance you'll go home with a sore jaw. You don't get paid for the actual work you do, but the work you're willing to do as a fluff boy.

"Now if you decide you want to pursue child porn as a career, the real money is onscreen. Fees vary depending on what you're willing to do in front of the camera and how good you are at being sexy and cute onscreen. Generally speaking, talented boys can make twelve thousand for doing a scene with other boys, more if you bottom for a man, still more if there's more than one man, and a nice bonus to take multiple facial cumshots or swallow multiple cumshots, but less if your scene is with a woman, still less with a girl. Plus there's the kink and fetish bonus schedule, which we sometimes call K and F, for all the kinky stuff."

"Did you say twelve thousand quid?" I asked. That's mostly what I heard him say.

"That is what Boris and Sebastian both make for their boy-boy scenes. Why do you think they come to the UK to make so many movies? The child-porn industry is enormous in Russia, bigger than anywhere else in the world, but the bosses keep the big money. They would be lucky to earn fifty euro for a Russian film. Since they both speak English, they can work in the big money studios and make world class porn, not just the typical camera on a tripod shot of Grandpa fucking his drugged-up grandkids in some cheap Siberian hotel room."

"Oh gross!" I said. "Do they really do that?"

"Some do," said Randy. "Here we can produce a quality product. Here, talent is well paid, and no one at any studio here would ever drug a kid to make porn! It's cruel and so unnecessary when there are so many kids who want to make these films. That's something desperate individuals resort to when they feel they need a specific kid, but the kid is unwilling, or maybe the individual can't afford to pay a fair price. It's sick, and their life in prison is pretty rough when they get caught."

"Sometimes work Czechia, or Hungaria," said Sebastian, "but here is much better, here and America. Much money for America, plus have BBC!" Randy explained that in the porn industry, BBC means 'big black cock,' which refers to porn featuring African American men with enormous cocks. Sebastian is such an experienced bottom that he can take the biggest BBC's in the industry. That's where he makes a large portion of his money.

"So," said Randy, "what do you think, Trevor? Would you like to join us at the studio tomorrow, have some more fun, and make a few quid?"

"Oh yes please!" I said. I couldn't think of anything more wonderful in my life! "Can I see some of these child-porn movies? Do you have any videos?"

"Of course!" replied Randy. "Boys, why don't you show Trevor some of your finest work on the computer. I have a few phone calls to make, and I want to email a few of these snaps to Eastman."

Boris and Sebastian acted like kids quibbling over who gets to show off their favorite toys. They were quite excited to show me their finest work. Sebastian made sure I saw his scene with Malcolm XXX, whose cock had to be a foot [30 cm] long, to demonstrate his work with BBC's. Boris showed me a scene he did with two very pretty Thai ladyboys. I was too confused by that to even ask a question, so I just watched.

Before long, I suggested I get some practice in as a fluff boy. I started with Boris, and both he and Sebastian gave me several good suggestions for giving Boris the best service possible, including deep-throating his unusually long and large cock. (That took a lot of practice, and in the end we decided I wasn't experienced enough to do it without risking me vomiting, though I'm proud to say that within days I was quite adept at the technique.) Then we did the same with Sebastian. He likes a little nipple play, and if we can manage it, he always likes his fluff boy's finger in his ass. He said he might also want to play with my cock while I'm providing services.

Soon it was time for me to go home for supper. That made me sad, because I'd just enjoyed the best day of my life, met two super boys whom I knew would become great friends, and possibly just changed my whole life.

Then Randy had a suggestion. "Why don't I walk home with you, I'll speak with your mother about tomorrow, and if we're lucky, maybe we can persuade her to let you come back here to spend the night after you've had your supper. What say you to that?"

"Brilliant!" was all I could think to say. Boris and Sebastian were also rather excited about the idea.

7:00 PM, Sunday, July 15

Randy performed as well with my mum as he had with the cop in the park earlier that day. He said that he was Boris and Sebastian's agent, that they were actors with a major production house in London, that they were shooting a film the next day, and that I was invited to spend the day on the set with them. He gave her a large, glossy brochure describing the studios and, in general terms, how films are made in the 'Children's Film Division' at Frenetic. He gave her another smaller brochure for parents of children who work in film, which described the policy of granting a parental stipend as standard, and which described how health, safety, and education were handled on the set. There was an invitation for her to tour the set at any time, as long as it was between 2:00 and 6:00 on a Friday afternoon, and a number to call to set up the visit. I could see immediately that these brochures were meant for parents like Mum, parents who would be reluctant to allow their kids anywhere near a porn studio, but who were also uninterested in what their children got up to. They must have dealt with many reluctant parents before.

He added that call time for the shoot was 7:00 AM, so perhaps it would be best for me to spend the night at his place. Mum bought it all, even my story about Boris and Sebastian being school chums of mine, spending the year and now the summer holidays working in the UK.

After supper, I packed a bag of clothes I knew I wouldn't be needing, promised Mum I'd behave, and set off for Randy's house. My cock was hard from the moment I began packing my bag.

8:00 PM, Sunday, July 15

Sebastian and Boris greeted me with huge smiles and kisses when I arrived. I decided to follow Sebastian's lead and simply undress as soon as I was inside. Being naked in front of people was so exciting! "Trevor Boy remember rule, no?" said Sebastian, as he stroked my cock.

"Of course I do," I said as I stroked his. "So where do we sleep?" I asked, just as Randy, a woman with red hair, and a pretty young girl in a short, white dress with pink floral print, who appeared to be the woman's red-haired daughter, entered the kitchen with us. I'd never felt so naked in my life. "Ah," said Boris. "You meet Annie. She film with Boris, with Sebastian for tomorrow. Annie, this boy Trevor, Trevor Boy, this also Annie's mum. She Mrs. MacKay."

"It's Darla," she said.

"Hello Trevor," said Annie. She was looking me in the eye, wearing a delightful, genuine smile, not betraying a hint of whether she thought it was odd to be introduced to a naked boy who was holding another naked boy's cock.

She was pretty! She was pretty in ways that I didn't know girls could be pretty. I quickly let go of Sebastian's cock, and she giggled cutely. I'd never cared before if a girl was pretty. I didn't like them that way. Sometimes I wished I could be pretty, so I liked to pay attention to what makes girls pretty, but I'd never wanted to be with a pretty girl because she was pretty. But Annie was more than pretty. She had an elegance about her that I didn't understand. Her voice was not normal for a girl. It was soft and soothing, but it was also knowing. She was slender, and something about her knees made her look even prettier. Maybe it was the shape of her bones, I don't know. I just knew she was pretty, and I was scared that I might do something stupid and never get to know her.

"So nice to meet you Trevor," said Darla. "Randy says we'll be seeing a lot of you tomorrow, though I can't imagine seeing more of you than we can see right now," she chuckled. "See you tomorrow Randy. Come along Annie. You have an early call in the morning, and we mustn't keep the boys up too late. Now remember you boys, save some for tomorrow!" Annie turned to wave to me over her shoulder and gave me a very pretty smile as they departed.

"All right boys," said Randy, "Who wants hot cocoa?" I was trembling, and probably rather pale. "Are you ok Trevor? What's happened?"

"I didn't know you had company," I said. "I was already undressed…"

"And so was Sebastian. It's ok Trevor. They know us. They're in the business too. You will never see anyone in this house who does not share our attitudes about our bodies, love, nudity, any of that. You are always safe here."

"Oh Trevor Boy! You embarrass for girls? Is no need! Annie, he pretty. You also pretty. Work together naked, have sex, is no big deal," said Sebastian as he dashed over to give me a hug and more kisses.

"It's just that they're the first girls to see me naked besides Mum," I said, not wanting to tell them what I had just experienced in those few minutes when Annie had been in the room. Annie… but she was a girl!

"There will be girls and women on the set tomorrow, and they will all see you naked, all day long. You will also see the girls naked and having sex. Are you going to be ok with that?" asked Randy. "Yeah, sure I am," I said. "I think it's just that I wasn't expecting them tonight. I'll be expecting them tomorrow. I'll be fine. I guess I thought the movie was going to be all boys. But I like girls too, sort of, only I like boys a bit more." Except for Annie…

"Well then you'll really like Annie," said Randy. "She's actually a boy. There will be girls doing scenes tomorrow – Boris, I think you're doing a boy-girl thing just after lunch – but Annie isn't one of the girls."

"Really?" I exclaimed. "She's a boy? She really is pretty." Now it began to make sense. Sort of. I had never felt that way about a boy before either.

Sebastian laid his head on my shoulder and put his hand on my chest. "Trevor Boy, YOU really pretty." I know he didn't exactly mean "pretty," or maybe he did, but he was very comforting. The nervousness was dissolving again, merging with the thrill of it all. I knew I was just fine. I felt Sebastian's hand cupping my cock, which became erect immediately, and Sebastian was giggling again. "Randy Man," he said, "Trevor Boy feel ok!" Boris burst out laughing, but it took Randy a few seconds to see what Sebastian was talking about. "And would much like cocoa."

I slept with the boys that night in a large bed in the spare room, thinking I could use the time together to practice the things they had taught me earlier about how to be a good fluff boy. I woke each of them up with my finest blowjobs yet. I wanted to be the best I could because this child-porn film industry sounded like what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Chapter 5
FSP

Amber and me talking things over in the Fluff Services locker room.

6:00 AM, Monday, July 16

It was difficult to wake up so early, but we were required to be at the studio by 7:00 in the morning. I had been happy to go to bed early with Boris and Sebastian the night before because I knew we would be able to play all we wanted, but I learned that cumming could make me sleepy, and I came a few times with them that night, so I fell asleep earlier than I normally would.

After a shower and breakfast, Randy drove us a half hour north to the studio. Every nerve in my body bristled with excitement! I had met Randy fourteen hours ago, in the tree, in a different life. This was so new and intense!

Randy showed a card to a security guard, who then opened a gate to let us into the car park at Frenetic Studios, the premier children's pornographic film production house in the UK. Frenetic produced most genres of porn, but child porn was their biggest moneymaker.

Randy then passed the card in front of a scanner on the outer door of the largest building that I could see, and we entered my new life. A man met us in the front lobby. "So is this the new boy Randy?" he asked, pointing at me. "Hello Trevor," he said, "My name is Philip Eastman. I'm the executive producer here at Frenetic. Randy has told me so much about you. And welcome back boys! Sebastian, how are you," he said, leaning down to kiss Sebastian on the lips. "And Boris! So good to have you back for another day of magic! You boys run along to your dressing rooms. Sebastian, Sharon is ready for you on stage 7. I guess makeup needs extra time with you or something. Randy, can I have a word with you and young Trevor here?"

"Of course sir, of course," said Randy.

7:00 AM, Monday, July 16

We entered a large office a short way down the hall from the lobby. There was a raised platform at one end, a counter with coffee and teacakes at the other end, and chairs in between.

"Now Trevor," began Mr. Eastman, "as I understand it, this is the first time you've worked in our industry, is that right?"

"Yes sir," I responded.

"Good, good," he said, "so no contract buyouts or anything like that to worry about, excellent. Now as I understand things, you are here today as a fluff boy." He handed me a sheet of paper. "Here is a description of what will be expected of you for today's filming. I shouldn't worry too much about the particulars today as you'll be working with Sebastian and then Boris?" He turned to Randy. "Is that right? The one after the other?" Randy nodded, and then Mr. Eastman turned back to me. "You will be paid cash at the end of the day, and there is no written contract involved. However, as I understand things, you have also expressed an interest in working for us on camera. That will require a written contract once you have passed the on-camera audition, and as you are a minor, it will have to be signed by your parent or guardian. We have a legal staff that will be happy to help you set up a trust fund for your income so that you yourself remain in charge of your earnings. Now, will you please step up onto the platform and strip off your clothes. I'd like to see what we're working with here."

Everything was happening so fast! All this legal talk about contracts and trusts, and suddenly he wanted me up on a platform, on display naked? Well, that was what I'd come for, so I stepped onto the platform and stripped right down to nothing, feeling a bit bashful, with him pacing around me as if he were appraising a used car. "Nice, very good, very good," said Mr. Eastman. "Now turn around for me if you would, face away from me. Thank you, that's excellent. Now would you please spread your legs a bit? Yes, that's very nice, very nice. Now bend over and touch your toes. Excellent!" I could feel his breath on my ass. "Now please stand back up and face me again. Now put your hands on your hips and bend back as far as you can. Excellent." As I looked at the ceiling, I could feel his breath on my cock. "Now show me what you look like with an erection." I looked at Randy, and he gave me an encouraging wink. I reached down to stroke my cock, but it stood right up with hardly any assistance. I smiled at Mr. Eastman because I could tell he liked this. "Excellent Trevor," he said, leaning down to examine my boner closely, "truly excellent! Thank you so much Trevor. You may put your clothes back on if you wish." I put my shorts back on and Mr. Eastman said, "Thank you so much Trevor, it's been a pleasure meeting you. Randy, we'll be in touch."

"Thank you sir," I said, returning Mr. Eastman's proffered handshake. "Yes, thank you sir," said Randy as we left the office. "Now to the set. Let's see here, we'll begin in studio seven with Sebastian. He's doing a scene with three men. Nice way to start the day, eh Trevor?" We followed a series of corridors that eventually led to a locker room. "These are the child fluff lockers, where you undress," said Randy. "At Frenetic, a child is anyone who is under 16. Once you leave here you enter the studios, and it's all business. Just choose a locker, put all your clothes in it except your undies. Shoes too. Undies go in the box in your locker door. That's important for later. Now hang the red locker key around your neck. That's a way to let the stage crew know you're a fluff boy, and not in the scene. You should also read over those instructions Mr. Eastman gave you. He really liked you, you know."

"Did he really? I couldn't tell if he was just being polite."

"It's true, he is a businessman," Randy said, "and therefore part politician, but trust me, he was truly impressed by you. Most boys your age would have been terrified and completely unable to get an erection on command like that, and he knows it. You really impressed him with that. Part of what that tells him is that you really do want to be seen, to perform in front of people, and that performing in front of people is a bit of a turn-on for you. In this business that's a real plus, especially for males. Besides, you might not know this, but when you've got a stiffie, your cock is rather longer than normal for a boy your age. Yesterday when you were fucking Sebastian, that fact became obvious. Most eight year-old boys don't have cocks long enough to fuck another boy properly. All right," he said as I hung the red locker key around my neck, "let's join Sebastian in Studio Seven. Are you nervous?"

"Just a bit, but I'm mostly excited," I said as we exited the locker room through a door opposite the one we had entered. The idea of being naked and having sex in front of people was almost like being caught in the tree. It was my fantasy that someone would catch me and see me naked, playing with myself. I wanted to be seen, but there was something exciting about the risk too. "Is it ok if I touch myself while I'm here?" This whole idea of sex in front of people and making porn movies was so new to me I really didn't know anything, but I felt safe with Randy. "Is it ok? It's rather expected of you," said Randy. "It's your job as a fluff boy to be hot and horny at all times, so yeah, play with yourself, play with the other fluff boys or girls if you like, quietly during filming, and if something on the set turns you on, react to it. Touch yourself – let the actors know they're turning you on. It's your job to feel pleasure and to give pleasure. Just do as the other fluff boys do and you'll be fine." I grabbed my cock and stroked it a few times as we walked.

Another naked fluff boy met us in the corridor with a red key hanging from his neck. He stopped, smiled at me, and said, "Hey, new kid!" He put his arms around me and kissed me on the lips, then briefly tugged on my cock as we parted. "You're going to love it here!" I thought, Too right I will!

***

Randy showed his card to the security guards at the door to studio seven, and they let us in. Randy grinned at me and said, "Cute naked boys don't need a security card to get in here." When the door opened, I saw a huge room with dozens of lights hanging from the ceiling. There were three large cameras, one of which was on a curved set of tracks, rather like a railroad locomotive. Several other cameras were hanging from the ceiling. On the left were a few mattresses. "That's the fluff area, where you'll be for the shoot," said Randy. On the right was a rather large shower area with four showerheads. Just behind the fluff area were two women with laundry carts. "This is Inez and Esmeralda," said Randy. "Ladies, meet Trevor. He's a new FSP on this shoot."

"Hi Trayvor," they both said. "Hi Inez and Esmer…" I stammered. "Hi ladies," I said. They both giggled.

"Oh, él es tan lindo!" said Esmeralda. They both looked like they wanted to be my grandmother.

"Towels please, ladies," said Randy. Inez handed me two folded bath towels, and Esmeralda handed me two folded hand towels. They were softer and fluffier than anything I'd seen before. "Frenetic is the classiest studio in the UK," said Randy. "They use only the best."

Just then, Sebastian appeared out of nowhere. He had what looked like dirt smeared all over his left thigh, hip, and ass cheek. "Oh! Is nice for see you Trevor Boy!" he said. "This is scene for put dirt on me. Not suck for cock fluffing, ok?" He handed me a bizarre looking device with a handle at one end and a curved, head-looking thing at the other. "For fluff, switch on, put for ass in me, and push to back of cock, ok?" he said.

"Ok," I said, not sure I understood at all what he meant.

"Ok, Trevor Boy," he said, giving me a quick kiss. "I see you on set!"

Randy explained to me that this scene required fake dirt to be smeared all over Sebastian's body, and that I couldn't suck his cock at all because that would clean the fake dirt makeup off. I could use the anal vibrator that Sebastian handed me, or I could stick my fingers in his ass, but I couldn't suck his cock. "Ok," I said. This seemed weird and new, but it also seemed to make my job easier.

Then Boris appeared next to me, completely naked, and with a red key hanging from his neck. "Work for King Khan this scene for fluff boy," he said. "Normal for work fluff boy for Sebastian this scene, but today he like you."

"Boris!" I exclaimed, giving him a kiss. "Brilliant! We get to work together as fluff boys for my first scene! But what is King Khan?"

"Oh he big man with very big cock, like small boy, but he get me," said Boris. "Oh wow…" I said. I couldn't wait to see this scene! "Oh yes," he said. "But so tired." He lay down on the mattresses in the fluff area, as if he were to fall asleep.

"Oh no, you silly bitchnik!" I said with a smile. I jumped on him and took his long cock into my mouth. "You have work to do," I said, taking a pause from sucking him. He didn't move, but he gave me a huge smile. I loved Boris!

As the production crew gathered onstage, I again remembered how naked I was. I thought of Mum, and even of Ian, but that made me feel more excited about what I was doing. I looked Boris in the eye, and thoughts of my old life, which had ended less than a day ago, melted away.

"Hi boys!" said a smiling girl approaching the fluff area. Only this girl had a cock. "I'm Jeanine. I'm fluffing for Pao Pao." I was beginning to think there were a lot of boys who dressed as girls here.

"Hello," said Boris, shaking her hand, as if this were nothing unusual. He kissed her on the lips. "This my friend Trevor. He fluffing Sebastian. I fluff King Khan," he continued. "You gonna like Trevor Boy! Hey Trevor Boy, you ever see tranny before, like for ladyboy video? Girl have penis. Very sexy!" He took her penis in his hand and stroked it gently. I thought about Annie from last night and tried to imagine her… or him… with a cock. It was thrilling to think about, but somehow it was more than thrilling. Annie was so pretty, and so mysterious, that thinking about her naked made me feel something beyond thrilling. I couldn't tell what that feeling was, but I liked it. Somehow, I was sure I would never get to know her or be friends with her though. She was… something different, and I didn't know what made me think so, but I was just a plain ordinary boy, not like her.

"Do you guys know how this works?" I asked Boris and Jeanine, showing them the anal vibrator.

"Oh I know!" said Jeanine. "Come here and I'll show you." I crawled around next to her on the mattress. She showed me how the little head on the vibrator had to be pointed a certain way so that it rubbed against the prostate. She rolled over on all fours and said, "Try it out on me! You want to make sure you know what you're doing when the time comes. Lube the thing up, but start out with your fingers. Just slide a couple fingers in my ass. Oh! Yeah, that's right! Now feel around the bottom, toward the fro-o-ont! That's the spot, right where your finger is! That's my prostate. Do you feel the raised round area there? That's where you want the vibrator head to be. Now try it with the vibrator." I lubed up the vibrator, and within a few seconds Jeanine was squeaking with pleasure. Some of the crew came by to watch. Boris slid under Jeanine to suck her cock, and Jeanine reciprocated the favor. But before long, Jeanine couldn't suck anymore. She could only howl.

"All right boys, save some for your actors," called a woman's voice. I stood up behind Jeanine while the others moaned in disapproval and rolled over facing her. "You must be Trevor. I'm Sharon, the stage manager." Sharon was a woman of about 30 with dark blond hair in a ponytail. She was wearing a headset and carrying a clipboard. Beside her stood a naked teenage girl with a red key around her neck. "And this young lady is Amber. She's fluffing for Roddney." I was surprised at the look of Amber. She was terrifically pretty, with curly, bright blond hair, a chrome belt around her waist, the biggest hazel eyes I'd seen, long legged, slender, with fairly small breasts, and a little bit of trimmed blond pubic hair. She looked too proper to like sex. She confused me.

"Nice to meet you Trevor," she said.

"How old are you?"

"I'm eight, almost nine."

"I'm fourteen. You haven't done this before, have you. I can tell by your eyes. Don't worry, you'll love it here!"

With Sebastian, Boris, and even Jeanine, sliding right into sex play was easy, but I felt intimidated by Amber. I felt like I had to mind my manners around her.

"Do you like pussy?" she asked me. I was shocked to hear such an elegant girl use such a word. It was almost as if I had forgotten we were in a porn studio.

"I guess I don't know. I've never seen one. I've only been with boys."

"Oh, so you're still a girl-virgin?"

"I guess so," I said.

"You should stay that way until you do a scene with a girl. They pay bonus money if you do some things for the first time on camera. You could make a bonus for eating pussy, and you would even make double pay for the first time you do a scene by yourself with a girl, and even more if there is more than one girl involved" She gave me a long, lovely kiss, and said, "I hope we can fuck properly some time. I would love to be the girl you earn your double pay with!"

I smiled and said, "I'd like that too. You're really pretty, and I love your belt!"

This made her giggle for some reason, and she said, "Thank you sweet boy." She kissed me again.

8:00 AM, Monday, July 16

"Are we all ready? Is everybody ready?" called Sharon. "All right places please." Others down the hallway where Sebastian had come from earlier repeated the call.

"That means we need to be on the fluff mattresses," said Amber.

Soon Sebastian appeared, all covered in dirt, including what looked like dried mud in his hair, which was completely matted. Three very large Polynesian-looking men were following him toward the set, dressed in some sort of Polynesian traditional costumes with grass skirts and wreaths around their heads. Sebastian walked onto the set, which consisted of palm trees, tropical plants – a typical south Pacific island setting. In the center was a bamboo hut, in front of which were two large boulders on either side of the hut entrance. There was a well off to the side of the hut. The men went into the hut, and Sebastian went round behind the hut.

"Ok, quiet on the set," said a man I hadn't met. Then "roll cameras, and action!" Sebastian peeked around the hut, looking left and right. He slowly tiptoed to the well in a crouched-down posture. He lowered the well bucket into the water and brought it back up for a drink. As he was raising the bucket to his lips, a loud grunt was heard within the hut. Suddenly the door flew open and the three men poured out, one taking Sebastian by his left ankle and wrist, another by his right ankle and wrist, and the third by his filthy hair. They pinned him to the ground amid great struggle and very convincing screams from Sebastian. The men seemed to be laughing evilly as they used the rope from the well bucket to tie Sebastian's neck to the well, and then his wrists to his neck. Sebastian was facing into the well with his ass conveniently pointed toward the men.

One man retrieved a bunch of bananas from the hut. He tore one off and approached Sebastian's ass. "No! No!" screamed Sebastian, as the men laughed. "NO! God please NO!" He shrieked as the man jammed the banana deep into his ass. "OH GOD UGH! PLEASE NO!!!" The man jerked it in and out several times to Sebastian's continued shrieking before removing it. He then peeled the banana and inserted it entirely into Sebastian's ass. I was getting worried for Sebastian! This didn't look at all like the kind of fun sex play I was expecting, and it looked to me like he was getting hurt! Then the man tore off his grass skirt, revealing an enormous cock like I'd never seen before!

"Cut!" called the same man who had called "action."

After brief words with Sharon, she called "Fluff!" We all sprang onto the set. "How are you Sebastian! They're torturing you!"

"Oh you so sweet be concerned Trevor boy! This all planned first, Nothing hurt. See? Rope soft. King Khan lube and loosen me before shoot. Use vibrator, ok?"

"Ok," I said. I turned it on and inserted it. "It's mashing up the banana," I told him.

"Is good. That what we need. Oh! Ma… make scene look messy when men fuck me. You like! Oh Trevor Boy! Ahhh.. is so good you sweet boy! Look, Khan fuck Boris now! He not so much like bottom, and Khan HUGE! Boris have sore ass tonight. Need give him much nice tonight."

Just then, Sharon called "Places!" The actors resumed their positions.

Then the man called "Action!" Khan stuck his cock up to Sebastian's ass and let out a roar that was louder than Sebastian's scream as he shoved it in. Khan pounded his ass hard, and banana mash flew everywhere. Sebastian screamed and cried real tears.

Amber moved in front of me, looked deep into my eyes, and whispered, "Your friend is fine. He's one of the best actors we have here. He's really convincing." She kissed me deeply. She was so much older, and very pretty. She was a proper lady, even though she was really fourteen. She was nothing but softness and prettiness. I didn't like girls that way, but Amber fascinated me. It was something I had never experienced before – one of many such things I would experience that day. She let me touch her pussy. I didn't want to put my fingers inside, but I explored the outside. I found a little bump near the top that made her jump a little when I touched it. She pulled my hand away, saying she would explain later.

I was surprised that Sebastian's Polynesian gangbang scene took the entire four hours due to constant lighting adjustments, makeup tweaking, equipment issues, and re-takes from different angles. He had to repeat the banana scene three times before the director was happy, and the third time he had me shove the new banana in myself before I mashed it with the anal vibrator. "This classy place, make only very classy film," Sebastian told me. "You understand soon. Filming cost money, so director want all things perfect."

Boris lay down on the mattress next to us, the massive cock belonging to King Khan gliding softly and gently in and out of his weary ass. Khan was watching Sebastian and me. He winked at me with a smile, as if to say "I will have you next, boy!" But Sebastian looked at him with a grin and said "Oh Khan, Trevor Boy he very new. Be nice! He no ready for you yet. Soon, ok? You love Boris now." He kissed Khan with a giggle. Then I glanced on the set and I saw Amber on her knees with Roddney. He had just made his money shot before the director yelled, "Cut." One thing I learned that day was that at Frenetic Studios, during a four-hour scene, actors were expected to provide more than one money shot if needed (that's what they call it when an older male actor cums), and it was Amber's job to help him get ready for his second shot. That meant cleaning off any cum still dripping from his cock and getting him hard again.

Like all the men who worked on that scene, Roddney's cock was at least eight inches [20 cm] long, and he was shoving the whole thing down her throat! He was holding her by the hair and forcing it all the way inside her mouth, balls deep! Amber coughed when she could, and drool fell in great drips from her chin. I thought of Sebastian's acting skill, and I said nothing until lunch time. I'm glad I waited.

1:00 PM, Monday, July 16

Traditionally the actors and fluff staff didn't share lunch together in the Frenetic Studios cafeteria, so I had lunch with Boris and the girls… or… whatever you call someone like Jeanine. Sebastian wanted to join us, but the three men insisted he eat with them. They seemed a bit rude, but Sebastian was flattered.

It felt strange to see the girls in clothes, and Jeanine really was a girl when I couldn't see her penis. I looked at Amber and thought of Roddney shoving his gigantic cock down her throat, choking her. I didn't like that thought.

"What's the matter sweetie?" Amber asked me. I didn't realize I had been staring at her. "Oh nothing. I'm fine," I told her. "You not fine," said Boris. "Tell us Trevor Boy. Not have secret."

"Well, it's Roddney," I said. "I saw what he was doing to you after his money shot Amber. That wasn't acting! That was awful!"

Amber took my hand in hers and looked into my eyes. "You don't really understand yet. Roddney is rough. He likes to be in control."

"Yeah, but he was choking you!"

"Yes, and it got him hard," she said, as if things were perfectly normal. "But that was horrible!"

"I did what it took to make him hard. That's our job."

"But it was like he was raping you!"

"He was not raping me!" she exclaimed. "If I wanted him to stop, we have a safe signal. I tap him twice, and everything stops. Do you understand?" I looked at my food, wishing I hadn't said anything. "You mean, you didn't want him to stop?" I looked up at her, trying to understand.

She shook her head, still looking me in the eye. "Some people, like Roddney, like to be in control. And some people, like me, like it when other people take control."

"You mean, you like it when he does what he wants to you? Even when he chokes you?"

"Roddney has made me orgasm many times just by face-fucking me during fluff call. You don't understand because you're still so young and so new at this, but giving someone else that kind of control over your entire body can be an amazing turn-on!"

I nodded. She was right. I didn't understand. I tried to forget about it for the rest of our lunch break, and before long, we went back to work.

Chapter 6
Actor

Getting ready for my first scene in St. Felix Academy. Adrian didn't seem to like me very much. In the classroom are Malcolm, Jeanine, and Claire. To the right of the door is Robbie, my FSP for the scene.

2:00 PM, Monday, July 16

I felt a little strange as I walked back to the Fluff Services locker room with Amber. She was older and taller than me, but I was a boy with a very pretty older girl in my arm. I felt a little like a pimp. Perhaps it's more accurate to say I felt like a little pimp.

Boris, Sebastian, and Jeanine had on-screen roles for the afternoon shoot. They went to their dressing rooms. I had another strange feeling as I entered a locker room for the first time to get undressed with Amber, undeniably a girl. There were no separate locker rooms for boys and girls at Frenetic Studios. We spent the whole day naked with each other anyway, so there was no need. Besides, classifying some of the actors and FSP's as boys or girls could get confusing.

We walked into the stage 7 area where we were assigned, and Amber was teasing me and embarrassing me, kissing me on my cheeks and tickling my willy, telling me I needed to relax because I was among friends, when Randy came to me and told me he needed a word.

He took me aside and said Mr. Eastman really liked me. He said we had a very lucky break. There was a boy on another stage who was sick that day, and they needed a little boy like me (I was almost nine!) to do the scene in his place. Mr. Eastman said I could have that on-camera role afternoon if I wanted. I would only be paid nine hundred quid, nothing like the thousands of pounds that the actors normally get, but it would be considered my paid audition, and that was the standard rate. It would also be paid in cash at the end of the day, along with my fluff money. That was twelve hundred quid I would be walking home with, and it scared me a bit.

If I performed well, they would approach my mother with a proper contract. I didn't really understand most of this. I knew that Randy was excited, I would be on camera, and that Mr. Eastman liked me and wanted to pay me to be in a child porn movie. It also gave me a secret thrill that Mr. Eastman had been showing around some of those pictures of me and the Russian boys that Randy had taken the day before. That was how Mr. Eastman persuaded the director to give me a try.

I leaned forward and kissed Amber goodbye. She smiled sweetly as I walked away quickly with Randy. I looked back and I saw a very pretty girl in a red dress on the set. It was Annie from last night… Annie, the girl with the boy parts… the tranny girl… the very pretty tranny girl. The pretty girl who made me want nothing else but air to breathe and my arms around her. Or him. I remembered then that her mum had said she was doing a scene today with Boris and Sebastian.

I didn't understand. Why would a boy want to be a girl? I thought of Jeanine. It seemed she really was a girl. Annie seemed different. I didn't know why she seemed different. It was all so confusing.

"So who's going to fluff for Boris?" I asked Randy as we walked to stage 2. That had been my assignment for that afternoon.

"Oh Pao Pao has agreed to stay on for that," said Randy. "What?"

"Oh yes. Adults in the child porn industry, especially men, get paid very little compared to you kids. Everyone wants to work with you, so they don't demand as much pay. They can make almost as much providing fluff services if they are lucky enough to find a child actor who wants an adult as their FSP."

"And Boris wants this?" I asked.

"Men have bigger mouths, and Boris has a very big cock for a boy his age, just like you."

"Oh, I see." There was so much I didn't know about sex. I was starting to feel nervous about the scene I was about to do. What if I did everything wrong? I didn't even notice his comment about the size of my cock.

"What do I need to do in this scene, Randy?"

"Oh it'll be easy for you. You will be working with a boy named Adrian. Just follow his lead," Randy said. "The director and the stage manager will take care of the rest. You'll have very few lines, and they'll help you with them. Hurry along. We've got to get you to wardrobe."

***

When we got to the fitting room outside the costume shop, I was already naked except for the red key around my neck. "Oh wonderful! A clean slate!" said a middle-aged woman with a broad grin full of lipstick and hair that was unnaturally curled up high into a bright platinum-blond hairdo from before the War. She ran her hands down from my ribs to my thighs and back up again several times. "We're in luck," she said. "I've got the whole uniform in your size." She seemed to adore me with her eyes as she continued to rub my body. She reminded me more of a grandmother than a woman her age.

"We're a bit pressed for time, Nellie, so if we could just get right to it…" said Randy, to Nellie's clear disappointment.

"Oh, but he's so cute and so young," she said with a pout. "How old are ya sweetie?" she asked in her American accent, tugging on my willy. "Nine? Ten?"

"I'm eight, almost nine," I said nervously. She looked surprised.

"He's tall for his age," said Randy tersely. "Now can we get him kitted out? St. Felix uniform, underclassman, and do hurry. They're behind schedule."

"Ok hun, you wait right here," she said as she stepped out through a door in the back of the fitting room that led to the costume shop.

Randy rolled his eyes. "She's really a sweetheart, but she can be a bit much sometimes. She's brilliant though," he said. "Did you see how she measured you for your costume?"

"No," I said. It hadn't occurred to me.

"That's why she was rubbing her hands all over you. She loves having her hands on you boys, yeah, but she can tell with her hands what size you are, just by feeling your body. Touching you kids like that is a gray area. She's not allowed to touch you for pleasure without asking your permission first, but employees at Frenetic are allowed to touch you if it's part of their job. Unless you protest, she is allowed to touch you like that because she can tell your size more quickly that way than by using a tape measure. But it's not a standard method, so if you don't like it, just tell her, and she will not do it again. She might whimper like a kicked puppy though. Always remember who is in charge of your body."

Randy took the red key off my neck, the last item I was wearing, and suddenly I was once again aware that I was naked in a room with other people, but this time I was the only naked person. He gave the key to a young woman who then hurried out the door through which we'd entered. I seemed to be the only kid in the room. Apparently, the other on-screen actors for my scene were ready and waiting for me. The young woman returned quickly, breathing heavily, with all of my clothes, neatly folded, from the locker I had used and handed them to Randy. He thanked the young woman and tossed me my Sponge Bob Y-fronts. "You'll need to wear these… for a little while anyway," he said. "The studio wants on-screen talent to supply their own undergarments unless special undergarments are specified in the script."

"Ok," I said, putting on my undies. "Won't it look silly with Sponge Bob on them?" I asked, not feeling any less exposed.

"No," said Randy. "They look just fine. Remember, it's your job to look cute and adorable. You're a little here."

"A little?"

"Yes, a little boy, younger than Boris and Sebastian. A little is usually someone nine or under, but if they look that age, they can be quite older. You're working with Adrian in this scene. He's a little who is eleven, and he looks younger than you."

I didn't like the sound of that, being called a little, and I began to feel even more embarrassed. "Ok," I said, "I'm nine or under, so I'm a little. But cute and adorable? I thought I was supposed to be sexy! I don't want to be seen as some dumb kid that makes grown-ups want to act like they're my gran or something."

"Oh, you're definitely going to be sexy as a little," said Randy. "That's part of what people really love about child porn. You look all sweet and innocent, but then you have all this sexual energy. That contradiction is what really turns people on. The more cute and adorable you are, the more turned on they will get when they see you having good, hardcore sex."

I must have begun to blush, because just then a very pretty woman came and hugged me. "You have not chosen a fluff service provider yet." She slipped her hand down inside my Y-fronts and rubbed my willy, which was stiff instantly. "I'm free this afternoon if you like," she said with a seductive smile.

Randy pulled her away and said, "We'll decide on fluff services when we get to the studio." I could hear him hissing at her in whispers as he showed her the door. "She will get the sack for that, and possibly arrested, depending on what Security decide to do with her." Randy said when he returned. "Frenetic don't hire cheap whores who lose control with our kids after a few gin and tonics over lunch. Adults here never touch kids like that without asking first."

I could tell he was angry. I hadn't seen him like that before. "If that ever happens again, tell me, or your stage manager, or the director. Tell an adult you know. Tell Eastman! That was a very serious violation." I wasn't sure what was so bad about it. I thought it felt kinda nice. "Trevor, listen. You might not understand, but this is the most important rule in our business. Adults never touch kids sexually without their permission. She did not have your permission to touch you like that. She never asked."

"You mean touching my willy?"

"Yes, that or any other kind of sexual touch. It's ok for adults and kids to play and have sex if they want, but the adult must always ask before touching you sexually, and they must be certain that you understand what they are asking. Trevor, you must promise to tell me if any adult touches you like that again without asking, and tell me even if you're not sure so we can talk it over. Will you promise?"

"But Nellie just pulled on my willy, and you saw it," I told him, still trying to understand. Lots of people had pulled on my willy that day, and it made me giggle. "She didn't ask."

Randy put his hand on his forehead and thought for a moment. "Yes, you're right Trevor," he said. "That is the kind of touch I'm talking about. But now I have to confuse you even more, I'm afraid." I nodded, listening carefully. "We all kiss each other on the lips here. That's not something you would just do to someone if you were at the greengrocer or something, but at Frenetic, it's understood and accepted that kissing everyone on the lips is our custom. We don't consider it sexual touch either. To us, it's showing love, or a friendly way to greet someone. It's the same with adults tugging on boys' willies. That is the one touch that we accept as normal without asking because it is used as an act of friendship or playfulness. People here don't generally consider it sexual, though to some it might be. You can still say no if you don't like it though, and I will make sure everyone knows, but that one touch, the willy tug, is considered ok here, as long as you feel comfortable. I'm sorry if this is confusing. Just promise to tell me if anything happens and you're not sure, ok?"

"Ok, I promise." I didn't understand that rule, but I would keep my promise because it seemed awfully important to Randy, and I felt I owed him so much. "Are there other touches that are ok here?

"Well, if you see a naked woman, it is customary for boys to give her breast a gentle squeeze, but only if you want to. And willy tugs aren't only for boys. You can do that with any naked man if you like."

"What about girls?" I asked.

"Girls are special," he said. "They don't have breasts or willies to grab, and you must never, ever insert anything into anyone without permission, so there is the one custom that goes for everybody, and that is patting their ass. Not slapping their ass, and not spanking them, just softly patting their ass, and even giving it a gentle squeeze or rub if you like, as long as it's quick and playful. It's not something adults are allowed to do to kids because it turns them on or because they want sex play. You can do an ass-pat with any naked person you meet here in the Frenetic complex, and you can expect that touch from others as well, unless you say you do not want that kind of touch. Tell me, and I will make sure everyone respects your wishes. All adult employees have access to a list of kids who do not want to be touched like that, and they must never violate the wishes of kids on that list."

I was confused with how important this stuffed seemed, and I was confused with how complicated these rules were. Still, I thought Randy was carrying on a bit. I would have to treat it all as important because I wanted to make a good impression on the people in charge at Frenetic.

Nellie returned from the costume storage room with an armload of clothing for me, including short trousers, a belt, a shirt, a tie, a blazer, socks, shoes, and a black school cap. "Try these on for me, will ya hun?" she said, helping me into the clothes. When I had everything on, Nellie put her hands all over me, down my front, up my back, and everywhere else she could think of. "How's that look to ya Randy?" she asked. I was waiting for him to say it looked ridiculous. These were the shortest shorts I had ever seen. I was afraid the other boys would pick on me if they saw me wearing such things. But I had forgotten that my costume wasn't meant to look cool. It was meant to make me look sexy.

"Brilliant as always Nellie," he said, pulling me in front of him to face her. "We really must dash to the set now. Thank you Nellie! Love you, mean it!" I felt his head between my bare thighs as he picked me up onto his shoulders, and we scampered off to stage 2.

***

When we arrived, I was surprised to see Jeanine, dressed in a girls school uniform with a lovely short skirt. She ran up to me with a smile and hugged me, saying "I heard the news! They told me you'd be here on camera! Oh I'm so happy for you Trevor!" She gave me a kiss on the lips.

"Thanks Jeanine," I said, feeling more nervous than anything. "I really don't know what I'm doing here, but they said there was a boy named Adrian, and I'm just supposed to follow his lead."

"That's an odd thing to say," she said. "You're his dom in this scene. On camera, he will be doing what you tell him, but I suppose he knows the script, and you don't. Come with me and I'll introduce you to him."

For the first time I looked around the set, which was quite a bit larger than stage 7. There was an empty school classroom with a globe and an old Gramophone on the desk, and through a door in the wall to its right was what looked like a school corridor with lockers and windows. Jeanine took me by the hand and led me quickly across the set to a boy about my size with longer brown hair and stunning, dazzling blue eyes. He was dressed in the same uniform I had on, embarrassingly short trousers and all. "Adrian," she said, "this is Trevor. Trevor, Adrian."

"Good," said Adrian. "I was hoping they'd find a cute one for me. You look the part. Has Jeanine filled you in?"

"Thanks," I said, a bit nervous. "She told me I'm your dom, and Randy said I need to follow your lead. That's all I know." Then I added, "What's a dom?"

"Sorry boys, but Judine wants a word with me. Must dash." Jeanine skipped away to speak with a woman wearing a headset with a microphone, leaving Adrian and me to talk.

Adrian tried unsuccessfully to suppress a chuckle. "You don't know what a bloody dom is? A dom is some on who… it means I follow all of your orders. You can have your way with me. I am younger than you, and at the school in the film, I am an underclassman to you. How old are you anyway?" he asked.

"I'm eight, almost nine" I replied.

"Eight? Are you serious? I'm bloody eleven!" Adrian said, looking disappointed. "You're bloody tall for your age. How are you hung?" he asked. "Only you need to fuck me at the end of the scene, and I hope you can do it." Then, without another word, he knelt in front of me, unzipped my shorts, and pulled out my willy to look it over. He examined it, saying only "whoa!" Then, again without another word, he put it in his mouth and began sucking it. I was hard before my cock even passed his lips. "I guess you'll do," he said. He stood up, leaving my hard cock bouncing freely in the open air. "You're so young, but you have a really long cock for your age. Not too thick, but long. I guess I can work with this."

"Zip it up Trevor," said Randy, approaching from behind me. "You need to choose an FSP so we can get started. We're already behind schedule."

"An FSP?"

"A fluff service provider," Randy explained. I felt a bit stupid forgetting the name of the job I had performed all morning, but this was all happening so fast.

He took me by the hand and walked me to the fluff area, where we met a line of naked people wearing red keys around their necks, kids and adults, male, female, and trannies. "Choose one of these so we can get going, Trevor," he said. How was I supposed to choose? The grown-up women were out, of course, but the rest looked so interesting, and I felt my cock pressing against my tight shorts as I looked them over. Then I noticed a boy, an older, black-haired boy, tall, with no pubic hair, but he had a huge cock. It looked like a grown man's cock, but he seemed far too young for that. "Wow," I said, not meaning to embarrass him. "I mean, sorry, but, um, how old are you?"

"This is Robbie," said Randy, "and he's twelve."

"Really?" I asked. "But your… it's so big! How come…" I knew I was blushing now.

"I know," he giggled. "I get slow but steady work here because of it. A lot of people who like child porn don't want boys with huge cocks, so I need to work when I can," said Robbie in a voice that obviously had not changed yet. "Mostly that means working with women."

"Yuck!" I said.

"Yeah mate, too right. It's nasty work, but it's work. Mr. Eastman says he's got something in store for me though in a sequel to this film, so we'll see."

"Can I have you for my FSP?" I asked Robbie.

"Done," said Randy. "All right, clear off, the rest of you. Don't forget the Adult Division if you still want fluff work."

"Can I touch it?" I asked Robbie.

"Oh you can do anything you like with it… er…"

"This is Trevor," said Randy. "You can do anything you like with it Trevor," said Robbie. "It's my job to use my body any way you like to make you hard and to keep you hard, though I don't think that's going to be much of a problem," he said, looking at the hard bulge in my shorts.

I knew I was blushing again, but I gently took his soft, long, fat cock in my left hand and stroked the top of it with my right hand, petting it gently like I would do with a cat. Randy tugged me by the jacket, and I let Robbie's cock go, noticing that it did not flop back down when I released it, but stayed up where I had been holding it.

"Come on Trevor," said Randy, "we've got to hurry now. Everybody here has been waiting for the replacement boy to arrive so they can start the shoot." He led me to the woman with the headset and introduced me.

"Oh Trevor, I'm so glad you could do this scene," said Judine with a smile. "We needed a little, and you guys are so hard to find at the last minute. Randy thinks you'll do well, but you've never worked on camera before. Is that right?"

"No ma'am," I said, shaking my head. "I only did fluff this morning. This is the first time for me. Randy said all I have to do is follow Adrian's lead."

"Well, it's a little more complicated than that," said Judine. "You have some lines in this part, just a few, and you need to be able to treat Adrian rough. Can you do that?"

"Er… What do you mean rough?"

"Oh nothing serious," she said. "You just need to slap his face a few times, push him to the floor, and be forceful with the sex. His role is to be your sub, so his character must obey you completely. The tricky part is that you have to mean it. You have to really slap him and knock him about. You can't pretend with this or it will look like you're pretending on the film. Do you understand?"

"I think so," I muttered, not at all sure of myself. "Did Adrian say it was ok for me to slap him and stuff?" He seemed a bit rude and impatient with me earlier. How could he be ok with me slapping him?

"Why don't you go ask him what he thinks," she said. "Here," she said, handing me a thick packet of papers stapled together in the corner. It said The St. Felix Academy on the top page. "That's your script. You should go over it with Adrian." Then she turned to Randy, kissed him, and said, "I think we're ok. Thanks so much for everything luv!"

Randy went to the dark area behind the cameras and sat down as I walked back to see Adrian. "Judine says I need to talk to you about my part. She says I'm supposed to slap you and push you around, and I have to say lines."

"Oh you better not act like a little pussy. If you try to be all polite with me you'll ruin the bloody scene."

"But you want me to… I should hurt you?"

"Well, it's got to hurt a bit or it won't look bloody real now will it," he said impatiently. "We should practice a bit. Slap me now. Give it a go." He saw I was nervous and tried to encourage me. "Make me feel it! Make the sound engineers hear it in the booth."

I slapped him nervously. "Don't be a pussy! You can go harder than that. And try to look like you mean it. You've got to look mean. Maybe this will help," he said. "Your mum's a whore and your dad's the pimp who raped her!"

"Right on both counts," I said. "I don't think that's helping."

"Of course not," he said, poking my chest with his finger. "I tried to tell them this was a bad idea, having a bloody eight year-old in this bloody role. How could a punk-ass little bitch like you know how to act!" Everyone had been so nice to me all day except Adrian. I didn't ask for a part on camera; they asked me! Now I was all nervous and embarrassed again. He didn't understand he was making things worse. And his finger-poking bloody hurt! I shoved him backward, shouting "Piss off! I'm trying my best!" He fell to the floor. I instantly felt guilty about that. I did not mean to push him so hard.

"Exactly!" he shouted as he stood up. "That's how you need to treat me on camera, like I just said something revolting to you, I smell revolting, you find me disgusting and nasty, and you feel nothing but loathing and contempt for me."

"What?" I did not expect that kind of response from him. "Go on slap me, little bitch!"

I did. I slapped him so hard he spun around and stumbled to the floor. He didn't seem to understand that I was supposed to dom him, unless I misunderstood what it meant to dom someone. And again, I hit him harder than I'd meant to.

I turned around as the people behind the cameras began to make noise. It was a noise that I was not expecting, and I was not sure for a moment, but I soon realized it was applause.

"That's it!" Adrian said with a smile as I turned back toward him. Then he shocked me by giving me a kiss on the lips. "Sorry I've been a bit horrible you you Trevor, but Judine said you had no acting experience. I had to give you a crash course on the method."

That was the most confused I had felt during that whole confusing day. "Who are they applauding?" I asked.

"You, you silly git!"

"What? Why? I mean, I knocked you down and they are cheering?"

"Well, not exactly. You pushed me in anger, and you slapped me in anger, but I followed through with a couple of prat falls," he said. "It must have looked smashing!"

"So you fell on purpose? I didn't knock you down?"

"Acting, my dear boy," he said pompously as he kissed me again. "I'll show you how to do those falls another time, but first we need to work on your contempt and anger, and then work them into your lines."

Adrian spent a few minutes talking to me about something called the method. I wasn't sure I understood what he was talking about, but he said the important thing was that I remember how I felt just as I was about to slap him, and try to feel that way again while we were filming the scene whenever I needed to push him around or slap him or even fuck him. I needed to feel the actual anger and frustration I had felt when I slapped him – even loathing.

"Makeup!" called a voice from behind the lights and cameras. An older man with gray hair came forward with a small bag and looked at Adrian's face. He took out a small container of something and rubbed a little of it onto the boy's cheek.

"You pack quite a whallop there laddie," he said to me in a Scottish brogue. Then he turned to Adrian and said, "You're a bit red, lad. Just a dollop of concealer and we'll have you looking right as rain,"

Adrian acted as if he didn't notice the man. He just set about teaching me my lines and running them through. "It's not important to memorize them now," he said. "It's a bit late for that. You just need to learn how to say them, what kind of feeling to add to the lines."

The man held Adrian's face in both hands and turned it into the lights while Adrian was reciting his lines and I read mine. "Just a wee bit ta e'en ya up," the man said as he rubbed makeup onto Adrian's other cheek. Then he knelt down and closely examined Adrian's legs, brushing the outsides with his hands, and then applying a fine powder to them with a floppy brush. "Nice falls laddie. No bruising at all!" With that, the man walked off to his place behind the lights and cameras.

I looked at Adrian, who had completely ignored the makeup man. I looked into his eyes and saw the most beautiful shade of blue. He had the longest, prettiest eyelashes I had ever seen on a boy. His face seemed to glow smoothly in the bright lights. Then he said, "It's your line."

Chapter 7
Scene 2

The girls get to work for the remote cameras in scene 2a. Claire is really cumming, again. Adrian's acting skills are on display. You'd think he was a naive little six-year-old, right?

2:30 PM, Monday, July 16

When we had gone through our lines once, Judine called "All right places please! Places! We are at places!" Adrian took my hand and led me to the far end of the corridor, behind a man with a hand-held camera. Jeanine and another girl were next to us, along with a boy wearing the same uniform Adrian and I had on. I thought they all looked about 12 years-old, maybe the boy was younger. The script said they were going to start the scene in the classroom and that Adrian and I would peek through the window in the door, watch for a while, and then the two of us would fuck in the corridor.

The director called, "Ok everybody, quiet on the set, and… roll cameras, action!"

Here it was. I was about to get naked and fuck a cute boy in front of a camera, and people everywhere would see it. I never imagined how many people would be watching, or how complicated everything was. Before that day I had never seen a porn film of any kind, and shooting a video seemed like a simple matter of pointing a cell phone at somebody and just recording. Real child porn involved large film crews with loads of equipment all pointed at the kids being filmed. For some reason that got me even more excited!

The scene started with the three older kids walking past the guy with the hand-held camera. He followed them through the door into the classroom, where Jeanine slowly removed the other girl's skirt and blouse and helped her up onto the desk, where she pulled off the girl's knickers, shoes, and socks, and began licking her pussy. The boy sat in a chair rubbing his cock through his shorts as Jeanine took her own blouse off, but left her skirt on. After several minutes of doing this, with the camera operator orbiting them closely, shoving his lens in closely, the boy stood up, and Jeanine fell to her knees in front of him. She pulled his shorts down, then his underpants, and sucked his cock like an expert while he unbuttoned his shirt and jacket. He threw his tie aside, along with his shirt and jacket. I was surprised to see how muscular that boy was. I could see his muscles clearly as she worked on his cock. The camera lens was sometimes just a few inches from the boy's cock as Jeanine sucked it.

"Cut!" called the director as everyone turned to him. "Great job everyone. Ok, let's do it again from the top. Jeanine, this time let's add some fingers in Claire's pussy, and then two in her ass. Claire hunny? We're going to have Jeanine do two fingers in your ass. Two fingers in her ass Jeanine, and one or two in her pussy. Remember you two have been doing this for a while. Your characters love each other. They know how to perform for a boy. And Jeanine, when you take off your blouse, lose the knickers as well. Roy, make sure you get some up-skirt shots of Jeanine while she's down on Claire. Jeanine, I want to see some wood for those up-skirt shots. Stroke yourself a few times while Roy is down there with the cam. Will you need fluff? No? Ok people, let's reset for take 2."

Claire was a pretty French girl with dark red hair and blazing red highlights. Her silk lace panties matched her hair precisely. Her two breasts were just beginning to come to life. She moaned somehow with a French accent. During take 2 she orgasmed when Jeanine pushed her two fingers up her ass while licking her pussy. The director seemed to like that because she was a girl. It made her scream and twitch around and even cum more during the scene. That's why he liked Claire.

***

After three takes with the hand-held camera, the director started shooting scenes using only the large studio cameras and the remote ceiling cameras, cutting each time while Jeanine was sucking the boy off. I found out after take 4 that he had accidentally cum in Jeanine's mouth. Like a pro, she swallowed it and kept on going as if nothing had happened. Apparently, Malcolm had been shooting cum for a few months now, and that's why they wanted him for this film. After take 4, when the problem was revealed, Judine yelled "Fluff call!"

Robbie ran up to me with towels in hand and asked, "What can I do for you Trevor?"

I looked from his smiling face down to his unnaturally huge cock and said, "I just want to play with this, ok?"

"Trevor, you tell me, you don't ask," he said. "I am your fluff boy. I do what you want."

"Ok," I said, taking his cock in my hand. Thinking about the boy cumming in Jeanine's mouth, and Jordan cumming in my mouth all those years ago, and Randy just last night, I said to Robbie, "Then I want you to cum in my mouth so I can swallow it."

"Er…" he stammered, "if that's what you want, then sure, but I think you might want to wait a little while. I can be ready for you when the next fluff call comes. We can try now if you like, but it might take more time than we have."

"Ok, then just let me play with it," I said, secretly planning to make him cum anyway.

I knelt down and took as much of it as I could into my wide open mouth. This was bigger than Jordan's, and Robbie didn't even have hair yet. I bobbed my head up and down, not getting much of his hard cock into my mouth, but remembering how badly I wanted Brad and his friends to play with me again, and how Brad kept saying no. Back then I was sure I would never have a cock this big to play with ever again.

Robbie started to breathe heavily. I took his cock out of my mouth and told him to spread his legs a bit, which he did. I licked my finger and pushed it slowly up into his ass and started sucking again. I wiggled my finger around in his ass as I sucked, and he gasped a few times. He looked around and asked me if I still wanted him to cum in my mouth. I didn't give him an answer. I was busy. He held a small towel under my chin and looked at me while I worked to get my prize.

It came to me about 20 seconds later. I had to swallow right away because more kept coming out. Some of it leaked out of my mouth, and Robbie kept it from dripping from my chin onto my school uniform with the towel. I kept sucking until no more came out. Then I sucked some more, and Robbie started giggling, saying he was done cumming. I said I wasn't done sucking.

Robbie became unsteady and started to shake. I always wondered what would happen to someone else if they kept going after they came. My young boygasms (that's a word I made up, but I bet other people have used it too) were so intense that no matter how hard I tried, I could not keep going. I slowed down and spasmed intensely.

Soon Robbie steadied himself and seemed to enjoy it again. I pulled my mouth back and let his cock go. He leaned down, licked his cum from my chin and wiped my face dry with the soft studio towel. "You're going to do really well in this business," he said with a sweet, sincere smile. "Trust me."

The gray-haired makeup man approached us, took my face in his hand, and said, "You're a thorough boy Robbie. Dry as Her Majesty's pussy." Then he took off my cap, withdrew a small hairbrush from his bag, and brushed my hair softly but quickly. He handed the brush to Robbie and said, "Be a sweetie and bring that to cleaning would you? There's a good lad." Robbie took the brush and kissed the man on the lips. The man put my cap back on my head and moved on to Adrian. "Why does everybody kiss everybody on the lips here?" I asked Robbie.

"Oh it's simple," he said. "We're in the business of making love and spreading happiness. If we live like that, we look like that in our films. It all starts with a kiss. That's a sort of motto at Frenetic." He smiled and kissed me, but it was not the normal kiss everyone else gave. He kissed me softly and slowly. When he was done, he said, "Trevor mate, you have no idea how special you are. Everyone here sees it in you. You are going to steal this scene. Your career in this business is a lock, and you can't get that without the love of everyone you work with. Never stop being yourself."

4:00 PM, Monday, July 16

"Ok, reset for take 5. Let's reset for take 5 people, FSP's clear the set. Costume and makeup final checks please. Lights and sound ok? Lights and sound good. Actors to your places. We are at places please, places for scene 2a and 2b, take 5," called Judine.

I stared at Robbie, dumbfounded, as he returned to the fluff area. Why was he so incredibly nice to me? Why was everyone here so incredibly nice to me? What makes them think I'm so bloody special? And where did Robbie get such a beautiful ass?

"Trevor you git! We're at places!" called Adrian. "That means you've got to get over here right now!" I knew what it meant, but I was too embarrassed to say anything. I just walked across to Adrian and collected another kiss.

"Ok people, we're going to keep rolling this time," called Judine. "Boys? Trevor, Adrian? Did you hear that? Make sure to enter on your cue, and Roy stays on you with the hand-held, all right?"

I nodded while Adrian called out, "Got it!" Then he turned to me and said, "Remember, your lines are, 'Oh look,' 'Bloody hell, the girls have got Malcolm in there,' and shove, 'Blimey, you won't believe…' and after I'm on my knees and I ask if I can look, you say, 'Shut your bloody gob, you'll look when you're told,' and then slap. Got it?"

I ran through my four lines in my head twice before replying, "Got it." He kissed me again. His eyes were so pretty! I didn't want to be mean to him, but the script said I had to. Then I remembered what would happen during the scene. First, I got to watch the older kids through the window in the door while Adrian sucked my cock, and it only got better from there.

***

Jeanine sucked Malcolm's cock for a few minutes while Claire rubbed her own pussy, then the director said, "Ok, boys enter." I walked up to the window in the door, not looking at Adrian because the script said I wasn't supposed to. Adrian followed close behind me, with Roy behind us with his camera. "Oh look!" I said – my first line.

"Take it deep, lass," said Malcolm. He was shorter than either of the girls, but his cock was as big as Robbie's. I didn't know how Jeanine could fit so much of it in her mouth while still breathing.

Adrian patted me lightly on the ass. I had forgotten already! That was my cue! "Bloody hell, they've got Malcolm in there with the girls," I said hurriedly. I was sure the director would call cut and yell at me for blundering my line, but he didn't, and the scene carried on. Adrian came up next to me to look through the window as Roy backed away with his camera. I shoved Adrian nervously, and he fell to the floor with a look of shame on his face. "Blimey, you won't believe…" I said. Only one line left!

Adrian got to his knees as Roy moved in over my shoulder to shoot the kids in the other room changing position. Jeanine let her skirt drop to the floor, revealing her modest cock. She crawled onto the desk, straddling Claire, and sank her cock into Claire's open mouth. Malcolm stepped between Claire's legs and slid his unusually large cock into her pussy.

Adrian was stroking the back of my thigh with his left hand and rubbing my hard cock through my shorts with his right when Claire let out a very high pitched scream. "May I have a look, Sir?" he asked.

"Shut your bloody gob! You'll look when you're told," I said to him, trying to remember the frustration and anger from earlier. I scowled at Adrian, and then I slapped his beautiful face harder than I meant to. I could feel the stinging in my hand. I felt terrible! I could feel myself breathing hard, and suddenly all I could see was Roy's camera right in my face. My cock went completely limp. I was glad I had my shorts on still. I didn't have to have a stiffy unless I was naked.

Roy pulled his camera back and pointed it at Adrian, who was rubbing his cheek. "Yes Sir," he muttered. Then Adrian began rubbing my cock again. He unfastened my shorts and pulled them down slowly, rubbing the skin of my thighs gently as he did. His face was glowing red from where I had slapped him. I was so sorry, but I couldn't tell him so while the cameras were rolling. He began to pull down my Y-fronts, but I was still limp. I was in trouble. I needed to tell him how sorry I was. Then he began sucking my limp cock, slowly caressing my thighs again. I looked back at the action through the window, and I felt a shiver of excitement. Adrian was such a beautiful boy, and he was sucking my cock! And Malcolm had Claire's pussy stretched with his giant monster. I was stiff again in a few seconds.

I counted to thirty, as Adrian had told me earlier, then I loosened my tie and unbuttoned my jacket and shirt. Adrian moved his hands up to my ass and kept sucking me. I could feel my legs wobbling. I looked down at his cute face, and he smiled with his eyes. He kept smiling as he took his right hand from my ass cheek and tickled my balls. "Cut!" called the director. "Trevor luv, that was wonderful, just wonderful," he said as he approached me. He went down on one knee in front of me and put his hand on my hip, looking me in the eye. "I know this is your first time in front of the camera, and we've put you in a complicated dom role. That's really not fair to you, but I must tell you you're doing a splendid job for us! I didn't think the studio would find anyone this good on a moment's notice." He kissed me with a smile and patted my bare ass before standing up.

I didn't know why at the time, but that made my cock really swell! I wanted to please the director, and I guess it turned me on when he told me I had done such a good job. I recalled how good it felt to be able to please Brad and his friends Chris and Jordan when I was six, how good it felt to give them something they really wanted. I guess most kids want to please grown-ups, and most grown-ups are hard to please, unless you like getting a pat on the head for showing Gran a sloppy drawing of a tiger and she says, "What a lovely zebra!"

"Now, I have just a few notes for you," he said as Adrian also stood up. "I wonder if we could do this again, only this time really try to hit those lines right on cue, Trevor." I nodded as he flipped a page in his pocket-size notepad. "Also, try to stay hard. You went a bit soft after the slap." He turned a few more pages and said, "Oh yes, I have a change for you. This time, take your jacket and school tie off completely, and wrap the tie around Ade's neck." I nodded again. "Then pull up from the back. This is where we'll need to be careful. Ade sweetie, take him through the neck lift, there's a good boy. We'll get the fight captain over there to supervise." Adrian nodded.

There was so much to remember! The director turned a page back and continued, "The physical stuff was excellent, truly excellent. Great slap! But I need you to bring that kind of energy to the shove too, ok?" My jaw dropped, and I looked down at Adrian. He knew the directions were for me, but it was his job to help me get them right. I was beginning to think the director was upset with me. He had so many things he thought I was doing wrong. I went totally limp.

"Yes Sir," I said, nodding.

The director had walked off to talk to the kids in the other room when Judine called "Fluff! Come on, let's go FSP's, to your actors!"

Robbie came running up to me with towels in hand, but I was more interested in Adrian. "I'm sorry Ade…"

"Oh button it Trevor!" he replied as a tall, slender, naked blonde boy knelt in front of him. "That was awesome! New kids don't slap like that! We'll do a few more takes of this, but I promise you that's the slap he will keep in the film." The blonde boy unbuttoned Adrian's shorts and opened his fly.

Then I felt another mouth on my cock. It was Robbie doing his job. "Robbie… oh that's nice… very nice."

"Did you hear what he said about shoving me?" asked Adrian. "Really give it a go. Do it just like you did the slap. You mustn't be timid about the physical stuff, and remember, I know how to fall. The people watching have to believe in you, and that only works if you believe in what you're doing. Remember the method, ok?"

Robbie's mouth felt nice, but I was feeling nervous and a bit scared. "Ok," I replied. Then I remembered something. Nervous and scared was what always turned me on. That's why I left my clothes in the other tree. That's why I had taken so many chances yesterday with Randy and the boys.

"Now give your fluff boy's mouth a good pounding," said Adrian. "Get in the mood! Be dom!"

I looked down at Robbie, and he said, "Am I your bitch?" He put my hands on the back of his head. Robbie was older and bigger than Adrian, but I tried to do what they told me to do. I pulled his head into my pelvis and held it there. Then I held it still and moved my cock in and out.

"Trevor," said Adrian, "You're acting right now, mate, and it's obvious that you're acting. Remember the method. Don't act. You need to feel it." I looked down at Robbie, the twelve year-old who was serving an eight year-old, almost nine. I had control over him. He was MY fluff boy! I became aware of feelings of contempt for him that I hadn't known before. I grabbed fistfuls of his hair and slammed his head into my pelvis. My cock was already fully inside his mouth, so I didn't make him go deeper. I just wanted to slam his head against my body and show him I was in charge. He was my bitch. I wanted to give him a bloody nose against my body!

I shoved Robbie back with my foot on his chest, and he toppled to the floor. To my surprise, he got right up and kissed me! "Well done Trevor! Keep that attitude! You were treating me like you need to treat Adrian." I was gasping for air, and I was suddenly embarrassed that I had lost myself for a minute. "He mustn't be your friend in this scene. I know that's confusing, but you have to make him your bitch!"

"You mean," I began hesitantly, "that I need to lose control like that, and I have to make myself want to hurt him?" I asked. "This is so hard to keep straight," I said. "You guys are my new friends, but I'm supposed to treat you like this. I know we pretend for the camera, but it's so real!"

Adrian shoved the blonde boy back with his foot, like I had just done with Robbie, and said "Acting!" The three of them laughed. I tried to laugh too, but my head was spinning with thoughts about what I had to do.

I had kept it hidden deep inside of me, but after my experience at age six with Brad and his friends, my fantasies were more related to tying people up, or being tied up, and being forced to be naked in front of other people. That's really what I thought about when I wanked until I learned what sex was. This scene was a little bit like those fantasies, especially the new bit with the tie.

"Get down boy!" I said to Robbie, in a suddenly stern voice. He knelt in front of me, and I tied his hands behind his back with my tie. I turned him to face the cameras. "Open," I commanded as I held his chin. He obeyed. I shoved my cock in his mouth like I had done before, only this time I was hard. I was excited! I remembered my dreams from long ago, and I was living them. I pulled out before having my boygasm and slapped him to the floor. I turned around to face Adrian, ignoring Robbie. "So what about this neck lift thing?" I asked Adrian. "I didn't tell you to move, bitch!" I shouted to Robbie.

"Trevor!" he said, "you're going to make the director cum! Robbie's your bitch on the set, and I'm your bitch in the scene. Just keep that attitude and you've got it!"

I was hard as a rock thinking about Robbie on the floor, naked, in front of the lights and cameras with his hands tied behind his back. He was twelve, and I made him stay there in front of everyone, looking humiliated.

I was surprised at that moment to see King Khan from Sebastian's scene that morning walk up to us with a notebook.

"Hi Khan," said both boys, the slender blonde boy jumping up to wrap his body around him and kiss him passionately.

When the blonde boy had let go, Khan turned to me and said, "Hello Trevor! I saw you this morning. Boris told me all about you. He was my fluff boy, remember?"

"Yes Sir," I nodded.

"I'm not Sir here Trevor. I'm the fight captain for this film, and we need to go over the neck lift for this scene." I nodded, feeling more than a little intimidated.

"So you're in charge of fighting?" I asked him. "Only we're not fighting really. I'm just being mean to him."

"Well, that's close," he said. "A fight captain is in charge of making sure stage combat is done safely. When you shove or slap Adrian, it might not be fighting, but it's considered stage combat. Adrian's an old pro," he said, rubbing Adrian's hair, "and he can handle slaps and prat falls just fine. But now you have to act like you're choking him, and you need to do it properly, or else Adrian could really get hurt. You see, it's my job to see that doesn't happen."

"Yes Sir," I said nervously. "I mean, yes Khan." I didn't know how much more new stuff I could learn in one day, but I always did well in school. "Ok Ryan, down on your knees and suck Adrian," Khan told the blonde fluff boy. "Here's how the neck lift works, Trevor." Adrian wrapped his tie around Ryan's neck and allowed the two ends to fall down his back. Good," said Khan. "Trevor, do you see how the tie covers the front of his neck, but the back is open?"

I nodded, thinking this looked pretty simple. "Ok Adrian," said Khan, "let's just do one at half speed to show Trevor." With Ryan still sucking his cock, Adrian gathered both ends of the tie in his right hand, then pulled up on the tie until Ryan's shoulders began to lift and his neck bent forward. Ryan's face began to turn red as Adrian held Ryan's head in place. Ryan's body seemed to lift as Adrian grunted with the strain of lifting Ryan bt the neck. "Ok Adrian, release," said Khan. "Do you see that Trevor? Looks great, doesn't it?"

"But how… I mean, he was choking, right?" I asked. "I'm not supposed to choke him, right?"

Ryan looked at me and giggled. "Of course not," said Khan. "Ok boys, one more time, this time with slack tie." They performed the exact maneuver, only this time the tie remained loose and limp. Ryan's body made the exact same movements, almost like a pantomime artist. His face even turned red, and Adrian grunted as if he were lifting Ryan's full weight. "All right boys, once more, full speed, no slack." Ryan looked like he was dying!

"This is a stage," said Khan. "You are actors. It is your job to show people things. They don't have to be real things, just believable." I nodded. It made sense, but I wasn't sure how they made that neck lift look real without being real. "This move depends entirely on a good bottom," said Khan. "Adrian is your bottom in this scene, and he's very good at the neck lift. Really, all you need to do is hold the necktie and let him do the rest. He lifts his shoulders by straightening his back, then he lifts his body, just a little bit, by lifting with his legs. All you have to do is hold on to the tie. It will also help him if you hold his head in close to your body. Keep the slack tight on the tie, but don't pull on it. Just keep it from looking loose. Make sure to grunt too. You need people to believe you are struggling. Now you try it on Adrian. Only go half speed."

Adrian grinned at me and handed me his tie. He began sucking me, and I wrapped the tie around his neck. I looked into his eyes as I grasped the ends of the tie. "No Trevor, closer in," said Khan. "You need to hold it closer to the neck." He corrected my position, and I began to lift. I scowled at Adrian as I did this, but I was careful with the tie. Soon I saw his shoulders rising. "Good, good," said Khan. I pulled Adrian's head into my body forcefully, but I held the tie gently. Adrian's body was lifting. "Good!" said Khan. "Release." He patted me on my shoulders with a smile. "You learn quickly, Trevor. One last thing, and this might be the most important thing you learn from me. If someone taps you twice on any part of your body, stop what you are doing immediately, got it? That's our safety signal."

Khan had us do this at full speed three times before leaving for his seat behind the cameras. "All right, reset for scene 2a and 2b, take 6. Reset for scene 2a and 2b, take 6. Makeup and wardrobe, can I have makeup and wardrobe on the set please?" called Judine. I handed Adrian his tie, and he reminded me I needed to get mine from Robbie.

I untied Robbie, who rose to his knees with his hands behind his back and said, "Thank you Sir, may I stand, Sir?"

"What?" I asked, not sure if I heard him right.

"You are my dom, Sir, and I obey my dom," he said. "I will do nothing without your permission, Sir, unless the stage manager or the director orders it, Sir."

"I know you're my fluff boy, but why are you calling me sir now?" I asked.

"It is proper, Sir, when one is a sub to refer to one's dom as Sir or Madame," he said.

"But I just want a fluff boy!" I said, all confused now. "I want you to help me when I tell you what I need," I continued. "That's what I did when I was a fluff boy this morning."

"Sir, if you wish to release me as your sub to resume my duties as your fluff boy, I will obey your command," he said.

"Ok, I, er, command it. Stop calling me sir!"

"Ok," he said with a smile, then standing up to kiss me on the lips. "Giving someone power over yourself can be fun, and it can also be a lot of fun to have power over someone else. I wanted to stay in that role if it would help you develop your attitude toward Adrian."

"I like it, I mean, when I can order people to do things. Like, get on your knees and suck me," I commanded, and he did without hesitating.

A young, pretty Asian woman came up to me while Robbie was sucking my cock. She got down on one knee, lifted my shirt collar, and began buttoning my shirt up. "Hello Trevor," she said. "My name is Diane, and I'm the wardrobe assistant for this film. We need to get you straightened up for the next take now." I looked down at Robbie, who acted like he didn't notice her, and then back up to her. "Of course your fluff boy can stay."

All that day I had been having these moments when I felt as if none of this could be real, or that it was a dream. This was one of them. I had an older boy sucking my cock while a grown-up woman was helping me with my shirt, and she didn't think anything was odd about it.

I think she saw that I was nervous, because she smiled as she wrapped my tie around my neck and asked, "Do you know what my favorite part of this job is?" I shook my head and said "No."

"Well," she said, "it's my job to help get all these clothes on you, but my favorite part of this job is when I get to see you take them all off!" She smiled brightly. "I just love you boys," she said, "especially you littles." Suddenly I felt another hand squeeze my ass cheek. This must be one of the women Robbie had to work with.

Diane tied my necktie in a perfect knot, and then buttoned up my jacket. She stood up, pointing at Robbie, and said, "I'll be back hun. We'll finish in a few minutes."

I held Robbie's cheeks in my hands and said, "Robbie?" He looked up, continuing his services. I pulled his head back from my cock. "Robbie, is this all real?"

"Not sure I follow you, mate," he said. "It's as real as anything else. Why d'you ask?"

"Oh nothing," I said, not even sure why I asked. "But it's not nothing. I just wonder… my life seems to have changed since yesterday, and I can't go back now that I know this life is here too. I guess I just want to make sure. Is this a dream or something?"

"Oh no worries mate, it's not nothing. I mean, it's something," he said, "something that I've seen in new boys many times. It's like, your life is fine, right, but you figure out how to wank. You love it, but you can't talk about it, right? Then you get all kinds of ideas, and they build up inside you, and you think you're going to explode. Then somehow you wind up here, and you've found a place where it's all ok, the wanking, the fantasies, everything. What's more, you find you can make people happy by doing all those things you were afraid of. Is that what you're on about?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but how'd you know all that about me?"

He laughed. "I told you I've seen it in other boys loads of times. It's not how I got started here, mind you, but it's how a lot of boys get here." He looked on the floor where Adrian had pulled off my Y-fronts and shorts, and said with a sour face, "We should go get those, unless you want Diane to put them back on you."

"I want you to do it, Robbie."

He took my hand and walked me upstage, where he held my Y-fronts as I stepped into them, and then did the same with my shorts. He smoothed down my shirt before pulling my shorts up over it, making sure it was all neatly tucked in before he fastened my belt and did up my zip.

"It's not a dream, Trevor," he said, looking me in the eye. "This is all real, and it's all wonderful!" He rubbed my cock through my shorts as he kissed me deeply and warmly. The gray-haired makeup man came to me and fussed with my hair again. He also used a very soft, poofy brush to dab this powder on my face. "You're beginnin ta shine a wee bit, lad. This'll put ya right."

When the makeup man was gone, I told Robbie I wanted to have a word with my agent. He gave me a quick kiss and went back to the fluff area. I found Randy and whispered a special request into his ear. "Oh sure! No problem Trevor. I'll have that set up in two minutes."

"Places please!" called Judine. "We are at places for scene 2a and 2b, take 6. All FSP's return to your area, FSP's to your area. Craft services, craft, we need some cleanup in the camera 2 area. Craft to the camera 2 area. We are at places!"

I went to my starting position next to Adrian. I pinched his ass and kissed him, and then I began reciting my four lines in my head. "I figured out what will really help me with this scene," I whispered into Adrian's ear. "Have a look at the fluff area." He turned his head, and a smile stretched his cheeks open wide. A man in a gray jumpsuit was pushing a rack on wheels into position next to the fluff mattresses. This rack was shaped like a letter "X" that was about 2½ meters [8 ft.] tall. And there was Robbie, bound by leather straps on his legs and forearms to the rack, one limb of his body attached to each limb of the rack. He had this kind of a gag on his mouth with a ball in the front. The other FSP's stood up and surrounded my toy, touching him in ways he could not stop.

"Brilliant, Trevor!" he said, feeling my hard cock. "A fluff boy's job is to do whatever it takes, and it seems to be working!"

***

This time I got my lines almost right, I shoved Adrian so hard he didn't need to pretend to fall, I slapped him like the little bitch he was pretending to be, and I was rock hard the entire time. I glanced over at Robbie a few times to remember my power. Some of the crew had formed a queue to suck him and finger his ass. The guy in the gray jumpsuit who had rolled him out there, the gray-haired makeup guy, and even Khan took their turns, along with some of the fluff staff. I could see Robbie looking at me with his eyes as wide as saucers, and I knew it was me who put him there!

When the time came, I slowly untied my school tie and slipped it around Adrian's neck. I threw off my blazer and shirt, forced his head into my pelvis, and began to lift. I watched his shoulders rise as I pulled higher and higher on the tie. He was such a good actor! He made more sounds than when we rehearsed, but it sounded very real. He was making a sort of wheezing sound and I was just about to cum when the director called "Cut! Brilliant! Wonderful Trevor! Work a little more on that with Khan though, will you?"

Then Judine called "Ok, we need the fight captain! Fight captain on the set! Nurse on the set! And we have fluff call! FSP's to your actors! On-rack FSP hold in-place." Khan walked up to me, but suddenly a young man carrying an orange box with a handle ran past him to Adrian. I looked up to Khan and asked what was going on, and he said, "You were a little rough with the neck-lift. You forgot to let him do the lifting."

I felt a wave of panic. Had I hurt Adrian? Had I hurt him so badly he needed emergency treatment? How could I be so stupid!

"This happens with new boys, Trevor," said Khan. "You were close to an orgasm, weren't you?" I nodded, feeling shame for what I'd done to my new friend. "Well that's natural. You can orgasm if you like at any time. You littles don't shoot anything out, so it doesn't matter too much, and you can get hard whenever you want. It's good for you to orgasm. But it's also important to remember what you're doing. You got carried away with the scene, which makes it more real, but you forgot to let Adrian be in control of the lift."

I looked over at Adrian, trying hard not to cry, and I saw the young man rubbing his neck lightly while the slender blond boy gave him an enthusiastic blow job. Adrian was giggling at the man. "Is he ok then?" I asked, turning to Khan.

"Who, Adrian? Yes, of course he's fine," Khan said with a dismissing wave of the hand. "Whenever a stunt or combat element doesn't go as planned, the actor involved has to get checked out by the nurse. It's just procedure."

What a day it was turning out to be! Everything was going from good to bad to good to bad, again and again! Making child porn movies wasn't easy!

The nurse picked up his box, and soon the gray-haired makeup man took his place at Adrian's side. Khan and I walked over to Adrian as well, and I was embarrassed that I choked up when I tried to tell him how sorry I was. "Trevor, you bloody noob! Get over it! I nearly came in my shorts when you did that!"

Before long he had me feeling silly for worrying so much. Khan said safety is always first. Making good child porn is not worth anyone getting hurt. But it's also important to feel free to keep things feeling real. He said the director loved the take, but he had to call cut because of safety rules.

In the end the director told me he thought we'd use the footage of that neck lift, but we wouldn't repeat it when we did more takes. He thanked me for my hard work, and he told me he was asking too much of me already. He wouldn't expect me to learn anymore combat that day.

Then he took my hand and walked me over to Robbie's rack. "You really are a natural, aren't you Trevor," he said with a smile. Robbie looked at him, unable to speak. Then the director gave Robbie's cock a few tugs and said "Keep up the great work! You're in the sequel, Robbie. I just got word from Eastman, and he's approved the script. You're in, and it's called Robbie's New School. You've got your first title role!" Then he walked away as if nothing had happened, leaving Robbie to just stare at me.

***

We reset for take 7, and this time it was scene 2b through the end of 2c. That meant while Adrian was sucking me, the kids in the other room had one more position change. First was Claire's huge orgasm (her eighth during our shooting that day), then Jeanine would bend over the desk while Malcolm fucked her ass. When he started fucking Jeanine's ass, I shoved Adrian back one more time and just pointed to the floor. That was his signal to undress completely and bend over in front of me while I fucked his ass.

This didn't go quite as planned either. This time I came while Adrian was sucking me, and I made a little too much noise. Well, you could say I squealed. I couldn't help it! They let Robbie off the rack so he could come talk with me and get me hard and horny again, which meant more of that special Robbie blow job, as only he could do.

We did a total of 12 takes, and I came twice more, each time in Adrian's ass, like I was supposed to. I tried not to look at Roy or his camera, but it was weird having his camera in my face while I was cumming. I know I made a lot of squeaky noises, and I had no idea what my face looked like. Adrian didn't cum at all, and neither did Jeanine. It wasn't in the script.

I learned there was a tradition at Frenetic Studios for on-screen actors who do not cum in their scenes. They get together on the set and fuck in front of the cast and crew until everybody cums at least once. Usually they are on a table, or in this case on a desk, and everyone in the cast and crew crowds around them, putting their hands somewhere on their bodies. Jeanine and Adrian just sucked each other off in the 69 position. I wasn't very tall, so I couldn't reach very far into the crowd, but somehow Adrian's hand found mine. He came very quickly as he squeezed my hand. It was hard to see, but I know he glanced at me as he swallowed Jeanine's small load.

Chapter 8
The Offer

Mr. Eastman cleared the conference room and asks Markus to stand on a chair to take a picture to celebrate my first contract offer with Frenetic Studios, Children's Division. I wanted Robbie to be in the picture too because he had been so helpful that day, and I was going to have a prominent part in his new series.

5:30 PM, Monday, July 16

All of us kids who were in the scene were still naked, mostly. Inez went around the set, picking up our clothes and putting them into a hamper. Then she came around to each of us to take our hats and socks and whatever odd items we still had on. "What about my Y-fronts?" I asked her. She smiled at me and told me Sponge Bob would be cleaned and dry in an hour.

"Great work people! Great work," called Judine. "That's a wrap on St. Felix Academy scene 2. The following are released," she continued, "makeup, fluff services except for Robbie, sound and lights are released, camera crews, thank you very much, you are released as soon as you stow your gear, and all actors except for Trevor, please stay behind, hun. The rest are released." Adrian smiled his way over to where I was standing and kissed me so very sweetly before saying, "Great job today mate! I'll see you at tea downstairs."

"Tea?"

"Yeah, it's tea time, you great pillock," he said with a smile, pointing at the clock. "And we're not going anywhere before we get our undies back from laundry. I expect they'll get you to tea when they're done with you here."

"Right, see you there," I said as he walked away.

***

There I was again, completely naked in a room full of adults who were all dressed. Randy had led me back through the office area to the studio's conference room. He was now chatting with a small group of the adults. Robbie came up behind me and gave me a big hug with a lovely kiss. "Blimey Trevor! You're such a bloody natural! Where did they find you?" he asked. He was the only other person who was naked besides me, only he still wore his red key around his neck.

"What d'you mean?" I asked him. "I made loads of mistakes, and I even hurt Adrian, sort of.

"Listen, Trevor," said Robbie. "They want to talk to you. They called you to the conference room. You're in, mate! You're a cert in this business if you want it."

"Help yourselves to refreshments boys," said Judine as she left the room. There was tea, fairy cakes, egg and cress sandwiches, and Mr. Eastman's favorite, bagels with cream cheese. As he entered the room, Mr. Eastman said with a proud smile and a booming voice, "Trevor! Robbie! Please sit down, won't you?" Robbie patted my ass as we sat down, a sly smile on his face.

Mr. Eastman stood up and spoke. "Boys, ladies, and gentlemen, I have two announcements. First, as some of you may know, I have given final approval on a script for the sequel to St. Felix Academy, but you might not know that it will feature our own Robbie Mason here in the title role. The film is called Robbie's New School." There was applause and some cheering, and Robbie seemed to blush a bit. "We have established our unique school in this present film, and Robbie will play a London schoolboy who's recently moved to Dingwall. If everything goes well, this could become an ongoing series. Robbie, you have done much outstanding work for us in the past, and we believe now that we have found a way to put your extraordinary assets to work in a way the public will really like." More applause. I think everybody but me knew his assets meant his huge cock. "Thank you Sir!" said Robbie. "I've loved my time here at Frenetic. I won't let you down Sir!" Still more applause.

"Now," said Mr. Eastman, "now I want to talk about a phenomenon that cannot have escaped anyone who worked on or visited stage 2 this afternoon. I'm talking of course about our new discovery, young Mr. Trevor Hawkinson here!" This time the applause was quite loud and accompanied by cheering. Randy and Robbie were cheering me, each proud of his involvement in my first scene.

When things calmed a bit, Mr. Eastman looked at Randy and said, "Mr. Christianson brought Trevor in as a new recruit just this morning. I agreed we should start him right away as a fluff boy. Just look at him. Stand up for us, would you please, Trevor? You can all plainly see how effective his services would be. And the boy has potential!" He walked over to me and offered me his hand. Then he led me slowly round the table. "I want you all to take a good look at this boy. Look at the grace in his walk – so unusual in a boy only eight years old. Look at his lines and his curves. Look at the life in his smile! Remember his age. If he looks as astonishingly beautiful at age eight, imagine the elegant body he will grow into over the next year or two. Then at age twelve. I believe he will still be our star at age thirteen if nature cooperates by not rushing his puberty along too fast. You have all seen boy beauty under development, and you know what is surely to come with young Trevor here. Great things, I assure you. Great things! He is a long-term investment indeed for a boy porn star. No, a boy porn superstar!" The strange grown-ups were all turning and smiling at me, looking me over from top to bottom, as I walked past them. "Trust me," said Mr. Eastman, "the day will come when sculptures of this boy's body will appear atop the Willy awards themselves!" He led me back to my chair between Randy and Robbie.

I sat down, my chair facing sideways, and Mr. Eastman leaned over, looking me closely in the eye. "Trevor my boy," he said, "we put you in a risky situation this afternoon, and we didn't know how you would handle it. Mr. Christianson and I talked it over, and we agreed you should be given a chance to jump in at the deep end of the pool, so to speak. I can reveal to you now that we were ready at any moment to shut down the production at any time this afternoon if you seemed unable to perform as we asked, or if you seemed overwhelmed emotionally by what must have seemed to you a rather… bizarre role, that of bullying another little… another boy." He seemed to be making a speech now.

"Trevor, the people you see around this table are the investors and owners of Frenetic Studios, and a few of our solicitors" Mr. Eastman said, gesturing around the table. "Remember, the reason for this little meeting here is twofold. First, we wanted to announce our plans for young Robbie here, and to congratulate him for what we know will be a successful new franchise for our studio." Another brief round of applause for Robbie. "But second, I wanted to introduce you, our new phenom, as it were, to these wise, and might I add wealthy," he said with a slight chuckle, "men and women. I want them to know who they are getting when they see the name Trevor Hawkinson in the credits of a Frenetic film. "Now Trevor," continued Mr. Eastman, "Randy here is your agent. We say that he 'discovered' you. It shall be his job to see that you get all the right roles in the right films, and that your exposure and publicity are adequate for a star of your caliber. It's also his job to coordinate your scheduling and see to your development in this business, should you accept the offer I'm about to make on behalf of these good ladies and gentlemen."

A soft murmur went around the group, followed by complete silence. Randy took my hand.

"Trevor, you must understand that an agent puts a great deal of time and effort into developing your talent. That is why an agent gets paid some of the money you will earn. Agents in this business normally make 20% of the actor's pay. That means that if you earn ten thousand pounds, you would normally have to give two thousand to Randy. But I have something special in mind for both of you. In the deal we are proposing, you will only pay Randy 10% of your earnings and bonuses, and we will pay him an additional 20%, so you both will earn more. We want you to sign with Frenetic, Trevor Hawkinson, and we are willing to pay for you. It's a one-year deal, with a minimum of 21 scenes. You will be paid five thousand pounds for your first scene under this contract, and a thousand more for each subsequent scene until you reach a maximum of fifteen thousand per scene. These are the standard boy-boy rates. Your pay will go up or down depending on what you do in the scene, and with whom you do it. You will find a variety of kink and fetish bonuses if you wish to pursue those as well. Mr. Christianson has acted on your behalf, as your surrogate, unsigned agent, you might say, during the negotiation of your contract. He persuaded us to limit the contract to a single year, as he thinks your brand will be worth even more during next year's renegotiations. He is a very clever man, Trevor, and there is no one who knows the child pornography business better than he. In addition, he will cost you less than any other agent due to the reduced commission he negotiated for you. I strongly recommend you agree to the portion of this contract that assigns him as your agent in an official capacity. He will not try to persuade you one way or the other because he stands to make a great deal of money based on your decision on that matter. I should not try to persuade you to accept any part of this contract for that very reason, but forgive an old buffoon his excitement at having found such a dear treasure as yourself.

"Trevor my boy, if you perform only the minimum number of scenes in this contract, your pay will be £260,000, less Randy's agency fee of £26,000, for a total of £234,000. Now how does that sound? You are only bound to do 21 scenes, at four hours per scene, that's a minimum of 84 hours you'll be required to work under this contract, which comes to an average of £2,785.71 per hour. Not bad, I should think, for part time work. I think that outstrips even our finest solicitors!" A chuckle went around the room. [the total £234,000 equals €260,715 / $305,832 / ¥34,446,028 and the £2,785.71 per hour: €3103.75 / $3640.85 / ¥410,071.13 (October 2017)]

"That is our offer, Trevor Hawkinson, which I present to you on behalf of Frenetic Studios. You should consider it carefully, but you should also know this is the most generous contract we have ever offered to a new boy or girl in our Children's Division. You truly are one special boy Trevor. I think congratulations are in order." I thought it all sounded extremely confusing, but he said I would make thousands of pounds for these films. I liked that!

There was more cheering, and Robbie and Randy both shook my hand and kissed me happily.

We all stood, as the meeting was over, and Mr. Eastman walked up to me with another man in a suit. "Trevor," Mr. Eastman said, "This is Markus Kramer"

"Hi Mr. Kramer," I said, shaking his hand. "Call me Markus, please."

"Trevor, Markus here will act as your solicitor in these matters," said Mr. Eastman. "He is employed by a nonprofit organization called Kids Coming Up, but he works for you, not us. He will be paid by KCU, and it is his job to see that you receive the best legal services you can get as you begin your career. That is very important. When children start out in this business, they are vulnerable to shady producers and abusive practices. We would never tolerate such things here at Frenetic. All the same, we want you to have every protection. It is standard practice in reputable pornography studios to provide their child actors with an independent solicitor during their first year, and we and other studios do that by funding Kids Coming Up, which in turn employs solicitors like Markus, and many other various professionals." I looked at him quizzically. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "That means that before you decide whether to accept our offer, Markus will go over the contract with you to make sure you understand what we will expect of you, and advise you whether he thinks you should negotiate any point of the contract. He will also accompany you to present the contract to your mother, along with our solicitor, Mr. White. If everything goes well, and you do join the Frenetic family, Markus will serve as your solicitor for one year. He will represent you in all legal matters, even in those not pertaining to your work here. After that year is up, you have the option to retain his services at your own expense, or he can represent another client through KCU if you choose not to do so."

I simply nodded. I couldn't think of anything to say. I was completely confused by all this solicitor talk, but he seemed nice enough.

***

"Don't worry too much about the contract," Randy said as we went downstairs to join the others for tea and to wait for our undies to finish in the laundry, "The studio has solicitors who specialize in these contracts. Markus has done several of them himself. They make them look nice and friendly for Mum, or lengthy and confusing if they think that will work better, and then they put most of your money into a trust. She doesn't even have to know how much you're earning, let alone the types of films you're making – if you don't want her to know, but you should plan on her finding out soon, and ideally it will be at a time of your choosing. They do this all the time. They will come with us to your flat tonight and get your mum's signature, and everything will be done, all right?"

"So quickly?" I asked.

"If you like," Randy answered. "Or we could wait if you prefer."

"Oh, no, that's ok," I said. "It's just so fast. I only met you yesterday, and now it sounds as if they want to make me into a film star or something."

"That's right Trevor," he said with a wink, "They do."

Chapter 9
Dressing Room

The Undies Game is a great way to unwind after a day of filming. That was when I got my first really good snog from Annie, my first boyfriend. Maybe it was puppy love, but those feelings can be very strong.

6:00 PM, Monday, July 16

The tearoom was a garden level room, just beneath the costume shop. It was not at all what I had expected. Instead of couches and armchairs and tables with tea sets, it was filled with cushions and lounges and mattresses and bean bags. There were about two dozen naked kids and two tea waiters in formal uniforms. Randy nudged me into the room and said, "This one's kids only, Trevor. Enjoy yourself!"

In a day that had been filled with surprises, I had no idea what to expect. At the far end of the room was a large plasma screen TV with two boys playing some kind of video game. Two girls and a boy were doing a sort of dance as they chanted a rhyme. Then there was a large pile of flesh in one corner, which turned out to be maybe eight boys having group sex next to a smaller pile of girls doing likewise and a mixed group of boys and girls bridging the two piles. Finally, there was a group of boys and girls in the center, sitting in a circle, enjoying tea and cakes. One very small girl with long, brown hair was idly rubbing her clitoris as she talked and sipped her tea.

"Trevor Boy!" I saw a hand waving from the center of the room. "Boris! Great to see you!" I said. I didn't know much at all about girls' pussies, but I knew about wanking, and my dumb brother Ian once told me that girls wanked by sticking things into their pussies. I didn't believe him because he was always having me on, so I had asked Boris earlier, when he and I were alone. I knew he wouldn't make fun of me for not knowing. He had told me, "Girl not all times put thing in pussy. Most time rubbing clitoris." He told me where the clitoris was, and he had even pointed it out on a few girls earlier that day. I was glad he did, because otherwise I would think this small girl with long, brown hair was rubbing her pussy because it was sore or something. I still wasn't sure how I felt about pussies.

"Trevor?" coughed a voice from the corner. "Trevor Boy? Is you?"

"Take dick from mouth Sebastian!" yelled Boris. "Must come say hello for Trevor Boy!"

"Is no dick. Not sure what have in mouth." With some effort, Sebastian extracted himself from the boy pile, throwing banana peels off his shoulders and head, and a neatly uniformed waiter brought a bath towel to him and toweled him off.

Boris and Sebastian kissed me, and we sat down. Then I saw her. Or him… "That Annie," said Boris. "You meet for him last night. He do scene with we two today."

"Hi Annie," I said, sure I was blushing. Boris had used the word 'him' when talking about her. Or him. Could I dare ask Annie which was the right word? Would I sound stupid? I would have been devastated if I'd done something stupid and lost her. Him.

"Oh look for him Boris!" giggled Sebastian. "So cute how he like Annie!"

I nearly died from embarrassment as once again my cock was hard as a rock. Even when Annie was naked she looked like a girl, only she had a penis. I thought what it must be like to do a scene with Annie. I thought I could spend the rest of my life with her, and I would give everything I had just to touch her…

Then she stood up and kissed me, and the world changed again.

She pulled me down to sit next to her. She pulled my arm around her shoulder and snuggled into my chest. Her skin didn't feel like human skin. It looked soft and creamy. It felt soft and creamy. Her legs were long and elegant. She was slender, but she wasn't skinny. I was too nervous to know what to do next. I didn't know why Annie made me feel this way. "Oh Trevor, you're so sweet!" she said. "Just feel it. Enjoy it if it feels good! I'll be your friend, ok?"

How could I be friends with an angel? That's what Annie was. My cock was hard, but I didn't want to fuck her. Or him. I wanted to cuddle her, to kiss him, and to caress every part of her body.

"Didn't you get enough action on the set today?" she asked me as she took my cock in her slender, graceful hand.

"Oh no! I mean yes! I mean, it's not that," I squeaked out. "I mean you're, you're so…" I didn't know what to say, but Boris and Sebastian were giggling. "I mean, I like you a lot. I think…" This was so embarrassing! "No wait! I like you a lot, but I just met you, and I don't know why I like you so much."

Now Annie was giggling too, but he was giggling in a nice way. He was blushing just a bit, and he kissed me. Did she kiss me or did he kiss me?

"You're really sweet Trevor," he said, "and I think you're really cute too." I know I blushed even more, and my cock swelled in his hand.

Soon Robbie and Adrian joined us, along with Jeanine and Claire. Malcolm went to join the boy pile. We talked about St. Felix Academy and Robbie's starring role in the new sequel. Then we talked about my contract offer. No one seemed surprised. "We tell for you Trevor Boy!" said Sebastian. "You do very well, no?"

"Yeah," echoed Robbie and Adrian. I still didn't get it. I was only eight, getting close to nine, but what was this weird thing about me that made it so obvious to everyone in the child porn world that I was special, but all my life I've been seen by everybody else as nothing more than my older brother's little brother? I thought of them and boldly grabbed Annie's ass and squeezed it. When she looked up at me, I kissed her. My time had come!

***

Inez, Esmeralda, and several other members of the laundry staff pushed their carts into the room, loaded with clothes of all sorts, girls and boys. "All right kids! Djou all know how this work!" called Esmeralda, who was apparently in charge. "Boys!" she shouted to the boy pile in the corner. "Pay attention or you never gonna get your undies!" The boys rolled off from each other, revealing the long, slender, elegant, blonde fluff boy Ryan at the bottom, covered in mashed banana goop and peels and having an unpeeled banana poking out of his ass like a turtle's head. "Oh no Ryan," said Esmeralda, "I no gonna clean your clothes again if you gonna make a mess like that!"

"It's ok Auntie," said Ryan in his squeaky Irish accent. "I just did fluff work today. Undies only."

Malcolm yanked the banana out of Ryan's ass, and Inez threw him a bath towel saying, "Thanks to God I'm no the yanitor tonight!" Several more boys from the pile came to Inez' cart to get towels to wipe themselves off.

"All right kids, ready?" asked Esmeralda.

"Yes Auntie," they all said in unison. I had no idea what they were ready for, or why they called her "Auntie."

"Ok, here we go," she said. She held up a pair of girl's panties, plain white, with red lace around the waistband and leg openings.

The kids began shouting names. "Amber! Jeanine! Ryan! Annie!" On hearing her name, which was shouted by Sebastian, Annie stood up, gave Sebastian a slow, deep kiss, then took her undies from a smiling Esmeralda, along with the rest of her freshly cleaned and neatly folded clothes. They were girl undies and girl clothes, so maybe they were 'her' clothes. She gave Esmeralda a kiss and said "Thank you Auntie." She came back to sit with me, whispering to me, "You just guess who the undies belong to, and then you get a kiss if you're right. It's a fun way to end the day, nothing more."

Esmeralda held up a pair of plain blue Y-fronts with white trim. I knew them! "Malcolm!" I shouted. I had seen them removed from him many times that day.

Everybody applauded as I got up to kiss the cute, though intimidating, short boy with all the muscles. He kissed me strongly, but not roughly. His muscles felt a little softer than they looked, and he gave me a sweet smile and said, "Welcome to Frenetic, new boy!" He was obviously Scottish. He took his Y-fronts and his neatly folded clothes from Esmeralda, kissed her, and said, "Thanks Auntie" before sitting down.

And so it went, with Esmeralda holding up undies and the kids all guessing. At one point she lifted a pair of pink silk lace bikini panties, and before they reached her shoulder level, Malcolm said "Ryan." It was not a guess. It was a declaration, a pretty impressive one too, given that the actors never see the fluff staff wearing their undies. "Now give us a kiss, Irish, ya great poofter," Malcolm said as he approached Ryan. Ryan made a show of obeying Malcolm, accepting Malcolm's finger up his ass during their kiss. He took his panties from Esmeralda, gave her a "Thanks Auntie" kiss, after which Esmeralda licked her lips and smiled at Ryan.

"Djou a real messy boy, Ryan, but you taste good of bananas, and I love you bananas!" said Esmeralda. Ryan folded the panties carefully and went back with Malcolm to lie across his lap.

"Now boys, play time is done! I no gonna do no more laundry for djou today!"

Next, Esmeralda held up my Sponge Bob Y-fronts. Boris and Sebastian just smiled at me. Why weren't they saying anything? I thought they'd know for sure. Boris winked, and Annie yelled out, "Trevor!" We stood up, and I think there was applause. I can't remember much. I just remember Annie's lips, and her soft skin, and her absolute perfection.

When you're only eight, almost nine, you're not supposed to fall in love, but you can definitely have very powerful feelings. I don't know if I was in love with Annie, but I was definitely infatuated with her. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to look at every part of her, and to feel her touching me. I didn't feel like I needed to have sex with her, but that would be incredible too. Well, more than incredible, but I didn't dare dream it. I just had to be with her, and I needed her to like me.

"Hey!" shouted a voice from reality. "Djou gonna get these clothes or djou gonna stand there all day keessing?" Oops! I didn't want to make Esmeralda mad. I turned to her, and she handed me my undies, and then the rest of my clean, folded clothes. I said "thanks," turning to sit down. Several of the kids stood up and turned me around. Esmeralda was standing with her arms crossed, a stern yet kind look on her face. "Come back here Trevor," she said, pulling my head in to a hug. "We always show love here. Love is the most important thing everybody do here. I help you learn these things if you wanna learn them from me, but you also learn them from everybody." I could tell that she wasn't angry. She wasn't lecturing me. She was teaching me. "When I give you your clothes, I give you love. Smell how fresh they are, and look how nice my girls fold them for you. That is love, mi chico! I have been here in Frenetic children estudios longer than anyone, even longer than Meestar Eastman. That is why everybody call me Auntie. Even Meestar Eastman he call me Auntie. You show love when you kiss me, and you show love and respect both when you call me Auntie, ok?"

I nodded and kissed her, saying, "Thank you Auntie." She held me in a hug for a few seconds longer.

"Djou gonna be a big star here, Trevor, A great big star." Yet again, people started clapping when she said that. I wish I knew what it was that made me so special.

Next, Esmeralda held up a pair of undies that looked like panties, but I thought they might be for a boy. They were solid red satin. They consisted of a waistband that was maybe an inch wide, with front and back panels that didn't connect with each other. The only thing that went over the hips was the waistband. I looked around to see who these belonged to, because they looked very sexy. "Sebastian!" called Annie. They got up and kissed, then Sebastian sat down with his clothes, and Annie returned to my heaven.

"We just did that scene together," whispered Annie. "I'm surprised you didn't get the answer. Didn't you just spend the night with them?

"Yeah," I said, "but I was a little nervous about today, and I guess I didn't pay attention when he got dressed." I became lost for a minute in reverie, wondering what Sebastian would look like wearing those satin undies, and how I could possibly have missed the moment of massive sexiness when he'd put them on.

"It's probably best," Annie said. "You're not supposed to guess if you're staying with the person, but they'd let you get away with it. You're the new boy that everyone is just crazy about."

7:00 PM, Monday, July 16

We left the tearoom, and I learned I had a dressing room because I was onscreen that afternoon. The FSP's couldn't go with us unless an actor had placed them on a special guest list. While we had dressing rooms to go to, they went to the FSP locker room and then home. But before we went to our dressing rooms, we went through the tea room exit in the rear, which led upstairs one level, then to a huge, luxurious bath and shower hall. There were dressing room doors up and down both sides of the long, rectangular room, showers along the two short walls, at least eight Jacuzzis, and a large pool in the middle.

"Hey! It's the kids!" called a voice from the pool. "Hey kids!" called another. There were naked men and women in the pool and taking showers. We walked past a woman who was on her knees sucking a man's cock. None of the kids seemed to notice them. Esmeralda and Annie were walking me to my dressing room. "Now remember Trevor," said Esmeralda, "no hanky panky stuff in the hot tubs or in the pool, and always take a shower and clean everything offa you little body before getting into the pool or the hot tubs, ok?"

"Yes Auntie," I said. I kissed her, and she opened the door to my dressing room, then left, humming as she walked. I thought she must really like her job.

"You can put your clothes in here while you clean up," said Annie. "I'm going to put my things in my dressing room, and if you like, we can meet at the showers at this end."

"Ok," I said. "I'd like that." I knew that was an understatement. I wouldn't just like that. I wanted that. I needed that. My life would end if that didn't happen.

The door to my room had a star on it, like all the dressing rooms did, and there was a sliding name plaque that said "Trevor Hawk." I stepped inside, and a light turned on automatically. It was just like I'd seen on TV. There was a makeup table with a chair and a mirror with lights around it. There was a couch along the back wall, a coffee table surrounded with chairs, a huge plasma TV with a complicated remote, my own bathroom (with yet another tub and shower), and on top of a mini-refrigerator was a bucket of root beer on ice with a note that said "Welcome to Frenetic, Trevor! We wanted to provide a beverage to your liking. Your agent suggested root beer. There are snacks and more beverages in the refrigerator. If you need anything, including a different beverage selection, dial 222 and let us know. There is a phone on your coffee table and one on your makeup table."

Life as a child porn actor just kept getting better and better!

There was a sign on the wall next to the door I had just entered with a list of rules for the bathing facilities:

Always shower before entering the pool or Jacuzzis. No clothing is permitted in the pool or Jacuzzis. Sex play is not permitted in the pool or Jacuzzis, though you may do so in other areas. This facility is for the use of actors only Adult (age 16 and up) dressing rooms are along the north wall, and child dressing rooms are along the south wall. Sex play between adults and children is permitted only if the child's agent has signed a release, and only if the child explicitly consents to play on each occasion. The complete list of children with current releases on file is available on the DICKS network. You may also call the DICKS office anytime at 256. You may invite guests into this area. Dial 222 to put them on the guest list. Frenetic employees may meet you at your dressing room. Other visitors will be escorted from reception to your dressing room. Your guests must also follow these rules, so please review them with your guests. Be yourself, and remember the love!

If anything nicer happened to me that day, I thought I would just pass out. I had a contract offer to do what I loved more than anything, I was going to make a lot of money, everybody thought I was special, I was treated like a star with a luxurious dressing room, and I met Annie! On top of everything that happened yesterday, I couldn't imagine how things could have been any better, ever! (My imagination simply wasn't large enough yet.)

***

I met Annie in the shower area, as we had planned. She turned me to face her and kissed me sweetly, warmly, then passionately. Then she looked me in the eyes and said, "I don't know why I feel this way, Trevor. Maybe it's your sweetness or your innocence or just your cuteness, but I want to hold your body, and I want you to hold mine."

She felt the same way? She didn't know why either? I reached behind her and turned the shower water on, suddenly splashing her pretty face, which lit up with giggles.

"Annie," I began, "I have felt like that since last night when I met you. I didn't understand you, how a boy could want to be a girl, but I know now it's just not important to know why. You are so pretty and so soft. I've never met a girl or a boy who makes me feel like this. I want to touch you. It's weird. It's not like being horny. It's a lot more than that."

"Yeah, I get it, Trevor," she said, kissing me. "Let's get in the hot tub, want to?" We slid into the warm, churning water, which felt nice on my cock. "One thing I want to tell you Trevor is that I'm a boy. I don't want to be a girl. I just want to be pretty, and I think I look pretty when I look like a girl. Does that make sense?"

It made a lot of sense. It explained why Annie felt so different from Jeanine. It might even have explained part of my attraction to her because I've always liked boys. "Yeah," I said. "It even sort of makes you prettier, being a real boy and not a girl like Jeanine. And you are so, so pretty," I said as we fell into a kiss that defied time.

We must have been there a long time, because Randy came through the door to my dressing room looking for us. "There you are!" he said. "It's half past seven!" Annie's eyes got wide as he looked at me. "Annie, your mum's waiting in the lobby. Trevor, Boris and Sebastian are also in the lobby. It's time to go Kiddo."

"Ok, we're coming," I said as I kissed Annie deeply and climbed out of the hot tub.

Later that evening, Monday, July 16

Things were a blur for a while. Randy, Markus, and Mr. White (who hated his first name, Virgil, so everybody called him Mr. White) rode home to Mum's flat with me in a limousine. Boris and Sebastian came along too. The solicitors presented Mum with a contract to sign that would pay her a thousand quid each month directly (which would not come out of my pay, and which I knew would all go into gin and tonic and new toys for Wonder-Boy Ian). She had no control over the money I made for my movies. That went into my trust, with another thousand each month originally meant to go into my pocket. "That will go into your college fund, young man," snarled Mum, who had no intention of letting me keep any of it. That part of the contract was really meant to make Mum think she had another way to keep me poor and unhappy. It wouldn't work though. Markus had negotiated many of these contracts, and he used language to prevent Mum from getting any of the real money, but still letting her think she would be depriving me of my thousand quid. She had no idea how tiny that amount was compared to what I would actually make, but then neither did I. Randy was named my agent and my trustee, and somehow he got legal powers over me to make medical decisions and the like. At the time, I didn't fully understand what that meant, but I would understand before the week was over. Mum would have no idea how much money I was really earning above the thousand quid I got each month, nor did she know what kind of movies I was making – yet. Randy would make sure I had enough spending money. If I needed anything else, I would just ask him.

All that complicated contract talk made me want to run outside and scream. Money had always made me anxious for some reason. I asked Mum if I could take Boris and Sebastian to the bedroom I shared with Ian. She just waved me off like a bluebottle fly.

"Nothing same again for Trevor Boy," said Boris with a smile that made me want to lay him down on Ian's bed and kiss him. So I did.

"No boys, must not get troubles with mum of Trevor Boy tonight," said Sebastian. "Too important, I think."

I hugged and kissed Sebastian too. "I'm just so happy I can't help it!" I said. "I love you both, and thanks so much for helping me with everything!"

Epilogue

I did not sleep at Mum's place again for the next two years. I learned soon how bad it was for me to live with with Mum in the state she was in. It was the beginning of my own life, the life that belonged to me, and no one else. I did one final scene for St. Felix Academy with the bigger kids (which you'll read about in part 2 of these memoirs) and I was excited about working with them again on Robbie's New School. I was also excited about making so much more money than what seemed evident in my contract! Randy and Mr. Eastman had big plans for me. I would be working a lot, and I would be able to leave my horrible school and work with a tutor at the school on the studio lot. I would get to travel to promote the videos with autograph sessions, live performances, and interviews. I even gave a talk to a group of Boy Scouts and Girl Guides, telling them all about making child porn movies. Most of them giggled a lot and some said "eew," but some were interested, very interested. We brought two of the boys and one of the girls upstairs to my hotel room with their parents to do a quick one-camera scene with them, a sort of introduction to making child porn. One of the boys got frightened by the camera and decided he didn't want to go through with it, so his mum brought him back downstairs to the rest of his group while the three of us had a great time with Randy and his camera. They were each paid £900 because the scene was considered their on-camera audition. The boy really seemed to like the girl, which was fine with me. He was cute, and my cock was still small enough that I could fuck his ass without it hurting him.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Those stories are for another time.

Much love!
xxoo
Trevor

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